Life as always has managed to keep me busy. Within a 30 day period I started a dual masters program and a new job. Needless to say I have not had time for much of anything....well except for Facebook when I want to kill a few brain cells and get aggravated over the multitude of ignorant people that are out there in the world that manage to pop up on my timeline. Yes, yes I know I said that my Facebook hiatus would be for the year but peer pressure is a mother...
Anyway, I am genuinely happy with my life. I can't complain. No real worries, good friends and loving family. Everything is as it should be. The dating life is nonexistent and that is by choice. I have been through a lot the past few years in terms of dating and I feel emotionally and mentally spent in that aspect. I am trying not to lose complete faith in men and mankind but from the things I see around me that is a fight I just don't have the energy for. Love is definitely in the air though and my friends are most certainly breathing it deeply. LOL! I will admire my crushes from a far and celebrate in the love my friends have found for themselves. *shrugs*
Just a quick update nothing serious. Have a great holiday weekend. Blessings to all.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
The FaceBook Project...
As I found myself logging into Facebook for the second time since I began my Facebook hiatus on January 1st, I realized how much our communication and communion with one another has changed over the years. Before Facebook conversation were held via phone, message boards, chat rooms and/or emails. The ability to log in and have all of your friends from every realm of life in one place was not the reality. Now you can log into Facebook and see the progression of life of all your friends, acquaintances, co workers and business associates. With just a click of a button you can go into various groups and have in depth conversation about the things that interest you with out leaving the Facebook page. It allows for optimal multi tasking by allowing you to chat, post, send inbox messages and stalk someone's page all at the same time, not just from your computer but from your phone as well. How efficient!
Don't get me wrong I am not anti Facebook, actually I love Facebook. I have seen many businesses grow, I have been introduced to a sport I love, I have been able to celebrate in the wonderful things that are going on with friends who are far away and I have met some great people; despite all of that Facebook can become addictive and time consuming. I have realized that the foundation of some of my conversations have been built on what is happening with who or who posted what on Facebook. It makes for funny conversation and jokes but I have also realized that being on Facebook can have a negative effect on a person and how they interact with people.
Despite the fact Facebook has security measures in place (which become more relaxed with each change) in some ways there is no way to really get away from certain Facebook friends, hell damn near anyone can find you in minutes. :-( Yes, I am aware I can hide posts, block and unfriend people but who wants to really deal with the logistics and possible confrontation that comes with doing that? Honestly, to even go that far to unfriend someone is never that serious to me in the first place. After all it is just Facebook, right? Nope, maybe...hell I don't know.
All I know is that the" if you want to keep/get a man yo have to be a good women that cooks, cleans and put it in yo mouth. Oh and you must not forget to like this picture if you love Jesus or else Black Jesus will not "blest" you. Postings of heart break, life being great (when you really know it's not...yeah I KNOW YOU), big booty girl of the day/week/month/year and this is how successful I am, play this game unknowingly sike ya mind you're an antelope now" posts are all beginning to blend together. It has become a menagerie of mess and it is beginning to read like this, "If you are a good woman to keep yo man you need; to cook, then put it in yo mouth, post a big booty pic, like the Black Jesus so you can be "blest", act like you are successful and pretend like you have a life by posting picks of your living room made to look like a party scene and you photo shopping people in to make it look like you are the shiiiiiit". Taking it a step further how about, I am going to like every single comment you post to my man because I know he like you when in reality I don't want himmmm...we just cool! Does it not take two? LOL! Duck lips! Can't take much more of Duck Lips. Why are we still posting duck lip pictures in 2013/2014? Stop it!
How about that person that hurts you and/or upsets you? They claim they are sooo sorry and torn up about it posting subliminal apologies and requests for forgiveness while simultaneously posting about how happy and blessed they are, posting pictures displaying a wonderful life. Normally, I can build a bridge and get over it. I wish no one no ill will...that is not my spirit BUT when a mixture of fakeness, insincerity and a big scoop of fuck you is being rubbed all up in your face with every post, it makes it hard not to feel like this about that person....
Anyway the high level of irritation I was beginning to feel got me to thinking how much better life would be if I did something constructive with the time that I spent on Facebook. There is so much I have to do, want to do but always complained that I really did not have the time to do it and it is hard to put time into something when I spend over 12 hours of my day playing Candy Crush (that game is the Devil), talking to people and partaking in all kinds of foolery on Facebook. OMG! I just realized I spent more time on Facebook than I did earning my pay check. Wow, if I got paid for being on Facebook...baaaaabbbyyyy I would never have to work another day in my whole entire life.
Unfortunately, Facebook has it set up to where you have to go through your personal page to manager business pages. I am building a business and I until further notice I still manage the Facebook page for my company so sometimes that will bring me back unless I am specifically looking for something, otherwise I decided not to have a presence on Facebook. I said it will last for the year but it might become a habit. Who knows? All I know is for right now I want to use the time I have wisely and that is what I intend to do.
Oh and don't think this is going to lead to more blogs. LOL! I just had all this in my head and I needed to put it some place.
Be blessed folks!
Monday, February 11, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 8- 5 Passions You Have Right Now
Not sure if I can make five...but we shall see...
1. Raising my children to be productive members of society.
2. Helping others
3. Staying healthy and fit.
4. Running
5. Being a better me
1. Raising my children to be productive members of society.
2. Helping others
3. Staying healthy and fit.
4. Running
5. Being a better me
Saturday, February 9, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 7- What Is Your Dream Job? Why?
My dream job would be to run my business full time. It is something that I really enjoy doing and it comes to me naturally like breathing. I won't have to answer to anyone but myself, don't have to punch a clock, my success is dependent upon how hard I work not by how hard someone feels that I'm working. I have so many ideas for the business yet I don't quite have the time to put into really making it what I envision for it to be.
...Yep! Many blessings to you all.
Friday, February 8, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 6- The Hardest Thing You Ever Experienced
I started thinking about this days ago more so because I have experienced some really hard times in my life. Anyway, the hardest thing I have ever experienced in life is the divorce I went through 10 years ago.
The loss of a marriage is really hard (even harder with kids involved) especially when you put so much of yourself in it, sacrificed and fought to make it work only for the other person to basically check out on you. I think the part that makes it even harder is how people change... someone that once loved you so much basically no longer has your best interest at heart; they no longer care about you, your feelings or what happens to you. You find that not only do you have to rebuild financially, physically but spiritually and emotionally as well.
Ahh well that is over. Life has since gone on. Much love, many blessing and peace to everyone.
The loss of a marriage is really hard (even harder with kids involved) especially when you put so much of yourself in it, sacrificed and fought to make it work only for the other person to basically check out on you. I think the part that makes it even harder is how people change... someone that once loved you so much basically no longer has your best interest at heart; they no longer care about you, your feelings or what happens to you. You find that not only do you have to rebuild financially, physically but spiritually and emotionally as well.
Ahh well that is over. Life has since gone on. Much love, many blessing and peace to everyone.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 5- What Are The 5 Things That Make You Most Happy Right Now?
Finally, a break from the deep personal stuff...right now at this moment?
1. Cupcakes
2. Running
3. The 70% off with an additional 20% off shoe sale at Nine West.
4. Ibuprofen
5. Payday
Mhm, that was easy. Peace and blessings!
1. Cupcakes
2. Running
3. The 70% off with an additional 20% off shoe sale at Nine West.
4. Ibuprofen
5. Payday
Mhm, that was easy. Peace and blessings!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 4- 10 Things You Would Tell Your 16 Year Old Self
Oooooooo I get to save myself from all the mistakes, heart ache and pain? Welllll alrighty then! Let's go!
1. When you turn 17 (a year from now) DO NOT take those 26 Benedryl fast acting capsules. The near death experience is not worth what drove you to go off the deep end. You need to learn how to be strong and start praying through things. Start asking for professional help now! Trust me there are many, many, many more darker, pitch black days to come and none of those days are worth the life you have. Joy does come in the morning, press to wake up and find the joy.
2. Take the extra science, math and Spanish classes Baby Girl. Take the SAT, go to Temple University as planned and don't...I'm telling you don't take Pre Pharmacy or Psychology. Become a business major and go into HR. Trust me you will encounter more than your share of crazy and mentally disturbed people than you care to encounter just from working in HR. If you really can't swing school "be all you can be" and go into the Army now, not later (trust me you don't want to go later...TRUST ME!) Oh and you might want to start putting plans in place for an "app" called Instagram. What?! I'm trying to help me out! LOL! *looks from side to side*
3. Don't allow for fear or supposed love to keep you stuck here. Yes "he" loves you BUT his "epiphany" will not last long. There will be more fights, more bruises, and you will sacrifice for him only to get the short end of the stick in the end. He will hurt you to your core. Stick to the plan that includes you and you only.
4. Watch who makes your drink. Watch them as they make your drink. Don't accept a drink from someone you are not familiar with. If you set your drink down and take your eye off of it don't even think about drinking from that cup again.
5. Watch who you call "friend" not everyone is your friend and not every one has your back.
6. Don't ever be cool with being left alone with a strange dude that you are not familiar with and/or never met. Don't get sassy with said unfamiliar strange dudes and don't allow for yourself to be lured. Matter of fact when your friends roll you just stick to them like white on rice and roll with them.
7. Despite what you were told as a kid you are smart, beautiful, and worthy of all the love in the world. You have the greatest, sweetest spirit and you will always strive to be a genuine, yet awesome person. Learn this, know it and own it. People and life will test your knowledge of this heavily.
8. It is ok to be alone. There is nothing wrong with being with out a man. Nothing at all. You may find that it makes life easier sometimes.
9. Finish up your Cosmetology exam and don't stop until you pass it before you go off to school. It is priceless and will serve you well later in life.
10. Through anything you go through or no matter how alone you may feel, just know that God is always with you and God is the only one you can always go to and rely on.
This makes me wish I had a time machine.
1. When you turn 17 (a year from now) DO NOT take those 26 Benedryl fast acting capsules. The near death experience is not worth what drove you to go off the deep end. You need to learn how to be strong and start praying through things. Start asking for professional help now! Trust me there are many, many, many more darker, pitch black days to come and none of those days are worth the life you have. Joy does come in the morning, press to wake up and find the joy.
2. Take the extra science, math and Spanish classes Baby Girl. Take the SAT, go to Temple University as planned and don't...I'm telling you don't take Pre Pharmacy or Psychology. Become a business major and go into HR. Trust me you will encounter more than your share of crazy and mentally disturbed people than you care to encounter just from working in HR. If you really can't swing school "be all you can be" and go into the Army now, not later (trust me you don't want to go later...TRUST ME!) Oh and you might want to start putting plans in place for an "app" called Instagram. What?! I'm trying to help me out! LOL! *looks from side to side*
3. Don't allow for fear or supposed love to keep you stuck here. Yes "he" loves you BUT his "epiphany" will not last long. There will be more fights, more bruises, and you will sacrifice for him only to get the short end of the stick in the end. He will hurt you to your core. Stick to the plan that includes you and you only.
4. Watch who makes your drink. Watch them as they make your drink. Don't accept a drink from someone you are not familiar with. If you set your drink down and take your eye off of it don't even think about drinking from that cup again.
5. Watch who you call "friend" not everyone is your friend and not every one has your back.
6. Don't ever be cool with being left alone with a strange dude that you are not familiar with and/or never met. Don't get sassy with said unfamiliar strange dudes and don't allow for yourself to be lured. Matter of fact when your friends roll you just stick to them like white on rice and roll with them.
7. Despite what you were told as a kid you are smart, beautiful, and worthy of all the love in the world. You have the greatest, sweetest spirit and you will always strive to be a genuine, yet awesome person. Learn this, know it and own it. People and life will test your knowledge of this heavily.
8. It is ok to be alone. There is nothing wrong with being with out a man. Nothing at all. You may find that it makes life easier sometimes.
9. Finish up your Cosmetology exam and don't stop until you pass it before you go off to school. It is priceless and will serve you well later in life.
10. Through anything you go through or no matter how alone you may feel, just know that God is always with you and God is the only one you can always go to and rely on.
This makes me wish I had a time machine.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 3- Describe Your Relationship With Your Parents
Shit...my relationship with my parents? *long silence* Hmmm...ok I have spent thousands of dollars and a lot of time in therapy to work through my issues with the parental units (and my child hood overall). In being a parent myself along with getting older I realized that a relationship with ones parents is forever changing. The type of parent a person needs at 16, 20, 25 and 30 changes as that child begins to grow personally and becomes more of an independent, responsible adult.
In short, I would say that the relationship with my parents is a good one. I know it could be better with my Mom at least, which is something I work on. I'm a Daddy's girl (I'm spoiled) so things are always cool with Dad...I should say for the most part they are cool. LOL! Some times Dad tends to ask too many evasive questions for my liking, but I understand that is his job as a parent. None the less as they get older I grow more concerned about their health and happiness more than ever before. I find that I am doing all the worrying and checking to see if they are ok while they are straight chillin and living life...it is kind of like the tables are beginning to turn and the child is slowly starting to become more of the parent so to speak.
This is all you all are going to get out of me on this subject. Peace, blessings and much love.
In short, I would say that the relationship with my parents is a good one. I know it could be better with my Mom at least, which is something I work on. I'm a Daddy's girl (I'm spoiled) so things are always cool with Dad...I should say for the most part they are cool. LOL! Some times Dad tends to ask too many evasive questions for my liking, but I understand that is his job as a parent. None the less as they get older I grow more concerned about their health and happiness more than ever before. I find that I am doing all the worrying and checking to see if they are ok while they are straight chillin and living life...it is kind of like the tables are beginning to turn and the child is slowly starting to become more of the parent so to speak.
This is all you all are going to get out of me on this subject. Peace, blessings and much love.
Monday, February 4, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 2- 3 Legitimate Fears
Legitimate fears? A fear is a fear but any whooo...
I am afraid of heights. When I was about 4 years of age a male family member had picked me up and started throwing me up in the air. He acted as if he was not going to catch me, which left me with the feeling of not particularly liking being thrown almost 7 feet in the air, with a strong uncertainty that someone was going to be there to catch me. So since then I have been afraid of high places. If I am in a position where I have to go up higher than what I'm comfortable with I get really quiet and I hold on tight to who ever I am with.
I also have a fear of clowns. They freak me out, I don't like them, don't understand their purpose and quite frankly I don't care to. This fear came about when I was young, I snuck and watched Stephen King's 'It', this movie had completely changed my outlook on clowns.
Last but never least I have a fear of snakes. I have always feared snakes since I could remember. How this fear came about I have no clue and particularly do not care. All I need to know is snakes bites, snakes bad...very bad. Last year I was running on one of the bike trails and I saw a snake slithering across my path. Talk about Flo Jo express and that I was; I literally hauled ass. I think that may have been one of my fastest runs ever since I started running. I remember for months after that snake sighting I always made sure to slow down and keep on the look out for snakes. I remember my friend rolling his eyes at me when I screamed after having stepped on a twig thinking it was a snake. Yeah the fear is real, I will show my whole ass and not really care one way on another.
So yeah those are the big three fears.
I am afraid of heights. When I was about 4 years of age a male family member had picked me up and started throwing me up in the air. He acted as if he was not going to catch me, which left me with the feeling of not particularly liking being thrown almost 7 feet in the air, with a strong uncertainty that someone was going to be there to catch me. So since then I have been afraid of high places. If I am in a position where I have to go up higher than what I'm comfortable with I get really quiet and I hold on tight to who ever I am with.
I also have a fear of clowns. They freak me out, I don't like them, don't understand their purpose and quite frankly I don't care to. This fear came about when I was young, I snuck and watched Stephen King's 'It', this movie had completely changed my outlook on clowns.
Last but never least I have a fear of snakes. I have always feared snakes since I could remember. How this fear came about I have no clue and particularly do not care. All I need to know is snakes bites, snakes bad...very bad. Last year I was running on one of the bike trails and I saw a snake slithering across my path. Talk about Flo Jo express and that I was; I literally hauled ass. I think that may have been one of my fastest runs ever since I started running. I remember for months after that snake sighting I always made sure to slow down and keep on the look out for snakes. I remember my friend rolling his eyes at me when I screamed after having stepped on a twig thinking it was a snake. Yeah the fear is real, I will show my whole ass and not really care one way on another.
So yeah those are the big three fears.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Love: Silly
Meditating on these two songs:
About two or three months ago I met someone that I felt as though and still feel as though I have a strong connection with. I think some where in the midst of us talking to each other I began to really feel some kind of way about how things were going between us. I can honestly say I feel as though I got mixed signals from him along with my own excitement and anticipation of what the relationship was to become. Silly me.
I have been sitting here wondering why the hell I have been letting this weigh me down or put me in a funk?? I mean this had me back in this place where I felt like completely giving up on dating/love all together, again and this time for good. Yet, I have no clue why I was feeling this strongly. I mean care for him but I was/am not in love with him. I'm dating/getting to know other people not just him, so what is it?
I figured out it was my disappointment in how things went considering the fact that we have a lot of commonalities and we have this amazingly strong connection to one another. He can read me and I can read him. Yeah it crossed my mind that I couldn't get away with entirely to much since he was able to read me so well but hey I was willing to take that risk. *shrugs*
Anyway, I'm trying to move past all of this but there is part of me that wants one of his amazing hugs or just wants him to hold me...for some reason I felt safe and secure in those moments. Like I was in a quiet place in the midst of a raging storm even if it was just for a few moments. None the less I am trying hard not to feel as though everything he was saying or feeding me was bull shit...ok so maybe a good 20% of it most likely was some straight bull shit. However, he would always say that he could tell that I have a lot of love inside of me and that is what brings me to my light bulb moment.
I do have a lot of love inside of me to give to someone but I am still waiting for that person worthy of all that love to come through. Part of me wants to give up and throw in the towel, but for some reason there seems to be something inside of me that is greater than me that will not allow for me to do such a thing. It is the same thing that keeps me going even when I feel as though I don't want to continue on with something. So I'm not done with love but I have to stop being so silly about the whole thing that much I know for sure.
It is like a bad pattern that I desire to break. I call myself giving people "outs" and they normally take them but hmmm that hasn't seemed to of happened in this case. I suppose he offered me his friendship by informing me that he is still here and honestly I have no clue what to do with it. So I just stay in my quiet little security blanket of being by myself and just let it work itself out either way.
Anyway...giving up is not an option at all. So I won't. I have a lunch date this week and another date Valentine's day weekend. Not expecting anything except fun and a good laugh (Lord knows I need it right now). I shall see.
Blessings, peace and love to you all.
About two or three months ago I met someone that I felt as though and still feel as though I have a strong connection with. I think some where in the midst of us talking to each other I began to really feel some kind of way about how things were going between us. I can honestly say I feel as though I got mixed signals from him along with my own excitement and anticipation of what the relationship was to become. Silly me.
I have been sitting here wondering why the hell I have been letting this weigh me down or put me in a funk?? I mean this had me back in this place where I felt like completely giving up on dating/love all together, again and this time for good. Yet, I have no clue why I was feeling this strongly. I mean care for him but I was/am not in love with him. I'm dating/getting to know other people not just him, so what is it?
I figured out it was my disappointment in how things went considering the fact that we have a lot of commonalities and we have this amazingly strong connection to one another. He can read me and I can read him. Yeah it crossed my mind that I couldn't get away with entirely to much since he was able to read me so well but hey I was willing to take that risk. *shrugs*
Anyway, I'm trying to move past all of this but there is part of me that wants one of his amazing hugs or just wants him to hold me...for some reason I felt safe and secure in those moments. Like I was in a quiet place in the midst of a raging storm even if it was just for a few moments. None the less I am trying hard not to feel as though everything he was saying or feeding me was bull shit...ok so maybe a good 20% of it most likely was some straight bull shit. However, he would always say that he could tell that I have a lot of love inside of me and that is what brings me to my light bulb moment.
I do have a lot of love inside of me to give to someone but I am still waiting for that person worthy of all that love to come through. Part of me wants to give up and throw in the towel, but for some reason there seems to be something inside of me that is greater than me that will not allow for me to do such a thing. It is the same thing that keeps me going even when I feel as though I don't want to continue on with something. So I'm not done with love but I have to stop being so silly about the whole thing that much I know for sure.
It is like a bad pattern that I desire to break. I call myself giving people "outs" and they normally take them but hmmm that hasn't seemed to of happened in this case. I suppose he offered me his friendship by informing me that he is still here and honestly I have no clue what to do with it. So I just stay in my quiet little security blanket of being by myself and just let it work itself out either way.
Anyway...giving up is not an option at all. So I won't. I have a lunch date this week and another date Valentine's day weekend. Not expecting anything except fun and a good laugh (Lord knows I need it right now). I shall see.
Blessings, peace and love to you all.
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 1- List 20 Random Facts About Yourself
*sigh* 20 random facts is a lot but I'm going to stick it out...here goes nothing.
1. I am a mother of 2 handsome 13 soon to be 14 year old young men and 1 pretty, sassy little 7 year old girl. I'm crazy about them, they know I can be a little crazy in real life and I'm glad they laugh at my moments of craziness.
2. Some times I have to withdraw from everything and everyone. In my personal and professional life I am literally the "go to" person or the one that people come to to "fix" the stuff they have messed up. Considering I have no one for me to "go to" all the time about everything and anything, I get over whelmed with people laying their cares and burdens on me; yet I still have my own to contend with, which leads me to withdraw from everyone so I can decompress, handle my own affairs and renew myself.
3. I'm a very quiet person and people mistake that in a lot of the wrong ways. I am either observing, thinking, plotting, planning, contemplating, reflecting or listening. Sometimes I might be holding my tongue, angry, growing angry or I may just be in a state of not caring at all.
4. Most conversations begin and end with me. I'm carrying so many secrets that if I wanted to I could write best selling novels. However, I don't like betraying the trust of those that confide in me so I shall take it with me to my grave and just spill it to Peter at the entrance of the pearly gates. LOL!
5. I am honest to a fault. Yes, I can't help but tell the truth even if I have to tell it in the most graceful manner. I am very methodical in what I say so if you ask me a "hard" question and find that I am silent then I am most likely searching for the most graceful, most gentle way of telling you the truth.
6. I'm really not as anti-social as I make myself out to be. I just don't particularly fool with too many people. I have become very selective in who I spend my time talking to and/or going out with. If I truly feel as though someone is on some bull shit, trying to play me or if that person is messy as hell then 9 times out of 10 I will not deal with them or deal with them from a respectable distance and yes this does include family as well.
7. I'm stubborn as hell. Most times my positions/stance will not be moved on something especially if it is something I feel very strongly about. It will really take someone to come to be with a few good points for me to ponder on before I will adjust my position/stance a little.
8. I hate my name. Sorry Mom! But I have never liked my name and the only reason why I have not changed it is because 1) My mother would be pissed, 2) My name was inspired by one of my favorite uncles and God Father and 3) I come from a large family that will NOT know nor acknowledge me by any other name. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for nicknames...people will either shorten my name or grow close enough to me to give me a nickname that I have earned or display characteristics of .
9. I have a superb defense mechanism in place which starts off with observation, reading people in conjunction with their interactions with me. Yeah. I think it works most times but there may be a rare occasion where someone that is great may slip through the cracks. I don't do confrontation unless I feel it is necessary I just quietly remove myself from the situation. Most times quietly removing myself from a situation is easy because that person wasn't doing much calling/texting/interacting with me in the first place so for me to fall off has not been too noticeable in the past.
10. No matter what I do whether it is right or wrong, I will let a person know before I do it as a heads up. What? I'm not a sneaky person therefore I don't engage in sneaky activity. *shrugs*
11. I will admit when I'm wrong and the other is right but one has to prove it first. :)
12. I'm a multi tasker and I need to have something to do all the time. A good balance of mindless games or watching TV and actual busy work help me keep it all together.
13. I don't like lies, bull shit, tardiness nor do I like excuses. If you're greek then you should know about excuses.
14. I have more patience with children than I have with adults.
15. My favorite colors are pink, purple and teal.
16. I'm not a red Roses type of woman. I LOVE Tulips, especially white and purple Tulips.
17. I am a hopeless romantic. I just try to keep it under wraps.
18. Being alone/by myself is a security blanket for me.
19. Flattery gets you no where with me, I am a modest and very humble person. Straight talk and action upon action upon action to back up the straight talk will get one further then telling me how wonderful and awesome I am. Ok, you figured that much out then treat me as such. *shrugs*
20. To know me is to truly love me and the way to my heart is to spend time with me ie; talking and going out.
Phew! That was hard. So glad that is over.
1. I am a mother of 2 handsome 13 soon to be 14 year old young men and 1 pretty, sassy little 7 year old girl. I'm crazy about them, they know I can be a little crazy in real life and I'm glad they laugh at my moments of craziness.
2. Some times I have to withdraw from everything and everyone. In my personal and professional life I am literally the "go to" person or the one that people come to to "fix" the stuff they have messed up. Considering I have no one for me to "go to" all the time about everything and anything, I get over whelmed with people laying their cares and burdens on me; yet I still have my own to contend with, which leads me to withdraw from everyone so I can decompress, handle my own affairs and renew myself.
3. I'm a very quiet person and people mistake that in a lot of the wrong ways. I am either observing, thinking, plotting, planning, contemplating, reflecting or listening. Sometimes I might be holding my tongue, angry, growing angry or I may just be in a state of not caring at all.
4. Most conversations begin and end with me. I'm carrying so many secrets that if I wanted to I could write best selling novels. However, I don't like betraying the trust of those that confide in me so I shall take it with me to my grave and just spill it to Peter at the entrance of the pearly gates. LOL!
5. I am honest to a fault. Yes, I can't help but tell the truth even if I have to tell it in the most graceful manner. I am very methodical in what I say so if you ask me a "hard" question and find that I am silent then I am most likely searching for the most graceful, most gentle way of telling you the truth.
6. I'm really not as anti-social as I make myself out to be. I just don't particularly fool with too many people. I have become very selective in who I spend my time talking to and/or going out with. If I truly feel as though someone is on some bull shit, trying to play me or if that person is messy as hell then 9 times out of 10 I will not deal with them or deal with them from a respectable distance and yes this does include family as well.
7. I'm stubborn as hell. Most times my positions/stance will not be moved on something especially if it is something I feel very strongly about. It will really take someone to come to be with a few good points for me to ponder on before I will adjust my position/stance a little.
8. I hate my name. Sorry Mom! But I have never liked my name and the only reason why I have not changed it is because 1) My mother would be pissed, 2) My name was inspired by one of my favorite uncles and God Father and 3) I come from a large family that will NOT know nor acknowledge me by any other name. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for nicknames...people will either shorten my name or grow close enough to me to give me a nickname that I have earned or display characteristics of .
9. I have a superb defense mechanism in place which starts off with observation, reading people in conjunction with their interactions with me. Yeah. I think it works most times but there may be a rare occasion where someone that is great may slip through the cracks. I don't do confrontation unless I feel it is necessary I just quietly remove myself from the situation. Most times quietly removing myself from a situation is easy because that person wasn't doing much calling/texting/interacting with me in the first place so for me to fall off has not been too noticeable in the past.
10. No matter what I do whether it is right or wrong, I will let a person know before I do it as a heads up. What? I'm not a sneaky person therefore I don't engage in sneaky activity. *shrugs*
11. I will admit when I'm wrong and the other is right but one has to prove it first. :)
12. I'm a multi tasker and I need to have something to do all the time. A good balance of mindless games or watching TV and actual busy work help me keep it all together.
13. I don't like lies, bull shit, tardiness nor do I like excuses. If you're greek then you should know about excuses.
14. I have more patience with children than I have with adults.
15. My favorite colors are pink, purple and teal.
16. I'm not a red Roses type of woman. I LOVE Tulips, especially white and purple Tulips.
17. I am a hopeless romantic. I just try to keep it under wraps.
18. Being alone/by myself is a security blanket for me.
19. Flattery gets you no where with me, I am a modest and very humble person. Straight talk and action upon action upon action to back up the straight talk will get one further then telling me how wonderful and awesome I am. Ok, you figured that much out then treat me as such. *shrugs*
20. To know me is to truly love me and the way to my heart is to spend time with me ie; talking and going out.
Phew! That was hard. So glad that is over.
30 Day Blog Challenge
I really want to get back to writing on some what a of a consistent basis. Though I have plenty to write about, I honestly don't want to nor do I feel as though I should write about any of it.
Anyway, I will do this 30 day blog challenge and see how I feel afterwards. I know I have captured many experiences and thoughts in this here blog, but I have not given to much insight in to who I really am; so this is an all about me type challenge.
I will write the first entry later on today. Now I must sleep. Night all.
Anyway, I will do this 30 day blog challenge and see how I feel afterwards. I know I have captured many experiences and thoughts in this here blog, but I have not given to much insight in to who I really am; so this is an all about me type challenge.
I will write the first entry later on today. Now I must sleep. Night all.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Proud
I went to see my Aunt this weekend and in conversation she said she forgot to tell me how "proud" of me she was. As I sat there with a look of confusion on my face she began to tell me that she was proud of how independent I have become in taking care of myself and my daughter. I rank her sentiment up there with my Granny's, who has consistently been telling me how proud of me she is as of the last few months. She has been expressing how much of a good woman I am and how I'm a really good mom.
Now my Granny is the kind of woman that says what's on her mind so if you are good then it is true, you are good. If you are messing up then you need to get it right and she is going to tell you what you need to do to get it right. Oh! Trust and believe; God, prayer, a good teaching church, medication (just in case the chemicals in your brain need to be balanced) and possibly some therapy will be the foundation for what ever instruction she gives you. Then if you are REALLY messing up she will go into the "Lazy Woman" and "Dysfunctional Woman" lecture in order to really drive her point home.
Anyway, I always smile and say thank you but it does sincerely warms my heart. It let's me know that I am far beyond all the mistakes and poor choices I have made in the past. It also shows me that I have grown a whole lot and I am so far from the person that I used to be. Despite all of my arguments and fights with God he has brought me a long way. At the end of the day I can sit back, smile and say I'm proud of me too. :)
Happy New Year! Be blessed!
Now my Granny is the kind of woman that says what's on her mind so if you are good then it is true, you are good. If you are messing up then you need to get it right and she is going to tell you what you need to do to get it right. Oh! Trust and believe; God, prayer, a good teaching church, medication (just in case the chemicals in your brain need to be balanced) and possibly some therapy will be the foundation for what ever instruction she gives you. Then if you are REALLY messing up she will go into the "Lazy Woman" and "Dysfunctional Woman" lecture in order to really drive her point home.
Anyway, I always smile and say thank you but it does sincerely warms my heart. It let's me know that I am far beyond all the mistakes and poor choices I have made in the past. It also shows me that I have grown a whole lot and I am so far from the person that I used to be. Despite all of my arguments and fights with God he has brought me a long way. At the end of the day I can sit back, smile and say I'm proud of me too. :)
Happy New Year! Be blessed!
Monday, December 31, 2012
New Year, Higher Goals...
As I scroll through my FB news feed I see all the resolutions, the things people are strongly stating they will leave behind and posing the question/challenge to others to resolve, start anew or leave behind things in 2012. Ehh to each his or her own.
After reflecting on how 2012 started I can say I'm just glad to be here and that I'm healthy. I learned this year that life is entirely to short, who you have around you can adversely effect your life and be mindful of who you share your time with...
For some reason I'm struggling with this blog and I have no clue as to why. I have done so much this year; I have lost 57 lbs, picked up a sport that I love, ran a few races, gotten my child on the right path, started a business, among many other things (dang I've been busy). All are great accomplishments and I can only give God glory for it all.
Despite my life not being what or how I would like for it to be I can't go into this new year looking at what I need to leave behind because as far as i'm concerned I clean house, make changes and leave stuff/people behind all year round. I can only look at it as taking everything I have learned and accomplished into the new year with me and just improving upon it.
I still have 27lbs to lose, 2 half marathons, one relay race and a 5k to run next year. I have a certification exam to push myself to study for, take and pass for my day job. I have a new position to get. I have a list of bills that I need/want to pay off so they can stop taking all my damn money. I have a business that I need to get over a hump that it hit this year. Hell, I still wondering if the man I'm to share the rest of my life has found me yet. ;-)
I know this blog is not heavily seasoned with sarcastic, quick witted thoughts but hey this is all I have.
Oh wait, I spoke too soon. Duck lip pictures folks. You are over 25 making duck lip pictures, kisses, lip puckers what ever. Please stop it. I don't want to see any more of it. A grin, half smile, or full smile will do just fine. So please keep your lips in, that shit is not cute. Negros on Youtube ok that provides me with much laughter so I won't demand for that to stop.
Ok, I'm done. You all be blessed, be safe and have a Happy New Year!
After reflecting on how 2012 started I can say I'm just glad to be here and that I'm healthy. I learned this year that life is entirely to short, who you have around you can adversely effect your life and be mindful of who you share your time with...
For some reason I'm struggling with this blog and I have no clue as to why. I have done so much this year; I have lost 57 lbs, picked up a sport that I love, ran a few races, gotten my child on the right path, started a business, among many other things (dang I've been busy). All are great accomplishments and I can only give God glory for it all.
Despite my life not being what or how I would like for it to be I can't go into this new year looking at what I need to leave behind because as far as i'm concerned I clean house, make changes and leave stuff/people behind all year round. I can only look at it as taking everything I have learned and accomplished into the new year with me and just improving upon it.
I still have 27lbs to lose, 2 half marathons, one relay race and a 5k to run next year. I have a certification exam to push myself to study for, take and pass for my day job. I have a new position to get. I have a list of bills that I need/want to pay off so they can stop taking all my damn money. I have a business that I need to get over a hump that it hit this year. Hell, I still wondering if the man I'm to share the rest of my life has found me yet. ;-)
I know this blog is not heavily seasoned with sarcastic, quick witted thoughts but hey this is all I have.
Oh wait, I spoke too soon. Duck lip pictures folks. You are over 25 making duck lip pictures, kisses, lip puckers what ever. Please stop it. I don't want to see any more of it. A grin, half smile, or full smile will do just fine. So please keep your lips in, that shit is not cute. Negros on Youtube ok that provides me with much laughter so I won't demand for that to stop.
Ok, I'm done. You all be blessed, be safe and have a Happy New Year!
Friday, September 21, 2012
Pacing Myself...
I'm blogging via iPhone's Blogger app so excuse any unusual formatting or typos.
Anyway, my life has gotten excitingly hectic over the last few months and I feel as though I am coming to the point where I need to ground myself, set some realistic deadlines and just pace myself in terms of making things happen.
I have always wanted to start a business but I wanted the business to be something that I was passionate about. When I discovered the wonderful world of running my Facebook inbox exploded, phone blew up with calls and text messages because I lost a large majority of weight via the running. Amongst all the questions people had for me and statements that were made they always said, I want to but I can't because of XYZ. I'm a firm believer in the following; anyone can do anything they put their mind to, there is more than one way to skin a cat and anyone can fit some form of fitness into their life, just remember to keep moving. Yes, that is right keep moving whether it's starting off walking a mile, riding a bike taking a class or swinging on a pole; don't stop moving. <~~~~ See what I'm talking about? I can't turn it off.
Through my encouragement of others I came up with my company name in conversation with my sorority sister, which moved me to start a blog called Running Is...www.runningis.com. At the time I started the blog I figured it would be a one stop shop for people to get the answers to all their questions and to keep up with my personal progress, trials and achievements as I continue to lose weight and master the wonderful sport of running. I fell so deep into motivating and inspiring people that the concept of Running Is.. began to grow and now I'm working on selling performance athletic apparel that will inspire and motivate people to get up, get out, get moving and keep moving. I'm so excited and thankful that God has opened up so many doors for me to get this company going that in some ways I can't believe it is happening. None the less I'm embracing it and walking in my purpose.
Moving right along. I have gotten to the point where I hate my job. My stomach turns when I pull up in the parking lot type hate. So I am studying to get my PHR Certification so I can land another job, closer to home or working from home that pays more money. That should sustain me aka pay the bills for a few years while I continue to build my business and my brand so I can run the business full time at some point. I've taken away a few things from my current situation such as, I don't want to work for anyone else other than myself. If I'm going to be underpaid and held back growth, title and money wise then it mine as well be on my own terms and not anyone else's. Never entrust the course of my career and career endeavors to anyone else, always empower myself to make a way to the goal position I want to be in and not the position someone wants to put me in...that is all I have but I'm holding onto these lessons none the less. I have already brought all my stuff home from work that was on my desk because when the day comes for me to resign I don't want to have to worry about having to pack anything up and take it with me, I can just leave.
Next!
Though I have two 5K races coming up and a possible 10k I'm currently training to fun my first half marathon in December. I'm not going to lie training is beginning to kick my butt, however I am going to press through it and get it done.
So you see I need to refocus and pace myself because I have all of the above on top of my duties as a mother, main household provider and attempting to put myself out there to meet some one and date. Phew I'm tired. Could explain why I have been sleeping good every night.
Anyway, check out the blog www.runningis.com, "Like" Running Is on Facebook, follow me on Twitter @RunningIs1 and why is the song She Ratchet rolling in my head???LOL! Let me go to bed. Night all and be blessed.
Miss. Lady
Anyway, my life has gotten excitingly hectic over the last few months and I feel as though I am coming to the point where I need to ground myself, set some realistic deadlines and just pace myself in terms of making things happen.
I have always wanted to start a business but I wanted the business to be something that I was passionate about. When I discovered the wonderful world of running my Facebook inbox exploded, phone blew up with calls and text messages because I lost a large majority of weight via the running. Amongst all the questions people had for me and statements that were made they always said, I want to but I can't because of XYZ. I'm a firm believer in the following; anyone can do anything they put their mind to, there is more than one way to skin a cat and anyone can fit some form of fitness into their life, just remember to keep moving. Yes, that is right keep moving whether it's starting off walking a mile, riding a bike taking a class or swinging on a pole; don't stop moving. <~~~~ See what I'm talking about? I can't turn it off.
Through my encouragement of others I came up with my company name in conversation with my sorority sister, which moved me to start a blog called Running Is...www.runningis.com. At the time I started the blog I figured it would be a one stop shop for people to get the answers to all their questions and to keep up with my personal progress, trials and achievements as I continue to lose weight and master the wonderful sport of running. I fell so deep into motivating and inspiring people that the concept of Running Is.. began to grow and now I'm working on selling performance athletic apparel that will inspire and motivate people to get up, get out, get moving and keep moving. I'm so excited and thankful that God has opened up so many doors for me to get this company going that in some ways I can't believe it is happening. None the less I'm embracing it and walking in my purpose.
Moving right along. I have gotten to the point where I hate my job. My stomach turns when I pull up in the parking lot type hate. So I am studying to get my PHR Certification so I can land another job, closer to home or working from home that pays more money. That should sustain me aka pay the bills for a few years while I continue to build my business and my brand so I can run the business full time at some point. I've taken away a few things from my current situation such as, I don't want to work for anyone else other than myself. If I'm going to be underpaid and held back growth, title and money wise then it mine as well be on my own terms and not anyone else's. Never entrust the course of my career and career endeavors to anyone else, always empower myself to make a way to the goal position I want to be in and not the position someone wants to put me in...that is all I have but I'm holding onto these lessons none the less. I have already brought all my stuff home from work that was on my desk because when the day comes for me to resign I don't want to have to worry about having to pack anything up and take it with me, I can just leave.
Next!
Though I have two 5K races coming up and a possible 10k I'm currently training to fun my first half marathon in December. I'm not going to lie training is beginning to kick my butt, however I am going to press through it and get it done.
So you see I need to refocus and pace myself because I have all of the above on top of my duties as a mother, main household provider and attempting to put myself out there to meet some one and date. Phew I'm tired. Could explain why I have been sleeping good every night.
Anyway, check out the blog www.runningis.com, "Like" Running Is on Facebook, follow me on Twitter @RunningIs1 and why is the song She Ratchet rolling in my head???LOL! Let me go to bed. Night all and be blessed.
Miss. Lady
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Changes...
Wow, I'm looking at my blog roll and realizing my last entry was in April. My so much has happened...a lot has changed. Not long after my last post my Granmother had passed away...she had been sick for a while and had a long struggle. Though my mom had told me they were going to remove her breathing tube, based on the experience I had the night before she called me with the news, I felt as though her spirit had long since left her body prior to them removing her breathing tube.
There is an old gospel song, Rough Side of The Mountain, my Granparents used to play this song all the time, that song is tied to so many memories. The song had been playing in my head for a while but that night I had felt compelled to actually pull the song up on Youtube. When I pulled it up and listened to it, I felt a warm sensation on my face like she was cupping my face with her hands and then the tears just came rolling down my eyes. At this moment I did not know why I was crying after all I had already made plans to see her before she passed away; the next day the call came letting me know that was not going to happen. My mom let me know they were considering removing the tube at the end of that week. They indeed decided to remove the tube that Friday and who ever wanted to be there for her last moments were welcome to come. I couldn't...my last memory was of her healthy, laughing and cracking on my uncle and that is what I wanted my last memory of her to remain as. :(
I can say losing my Granmother brought about a reality that we are all getting older and life is not forever. Though she was in her early 80s to me it still felt as though the time that she spent here was entirely to short...anyway after that a string of deaths happened that were completely unexpected, which pushed me even more to approach my life differently.
Sometime after my Granmother's death I had entered what I call a "weird place", at the time I could not define it but as time went on I began to listen to what my soul really wanted/needed and I began to give into what it had been crying for; I started doing things for me, the things I wanted to do and like to do.
I joined a running group and began running. After only a few weeks of running I suddenly ended up running my first race and since then running has become quite an addiction. I started to look at my relationships and the time I put into them, the role I played in them, I began to look at whether those unions bring negative or positive vibes into my life and if the time I was putting in was even worth it; with one person it was a no so I ended up letting that go. I found that after letting that situation go a lot of things began to open up for me and I started utilizing my time in a manner that benefited me and not any one else. How liberating that was...
I am now at a point where I can define my "weird place".
I want to live the best life that I can live. Experience things, see things, continue to grow, become a better person than I am now and be a blessing to others. I want to spend my time with the people that are special to me, know me well and cherish the time we have together. Most importantly I just want to have some fun. :) I have become very selective about what I do and who I do it with and I find that I have gotten better about gauging whether an activity or a person is worth my time. So as far as the dating scene goes I have not had any inclination to date...yeah I will talk to some people and if it seems we aren't on the same page I shrug my shoulders and go on about my way; but otherwise I'm not trying. I don't know what it is call it laziness, call it fear or what ever I'm just not up to it right now.
Anyway, I know there is much more life changes to come in the near future. I have had to make some hard choices recently and now I just made some sudden choice (trying to get my daughter into the local charter school at the last minute...lol) but no matter how it all works out, it is ok because that is exactly how God intended for it to end.
Stay blessed folks...
There is an old gospel song, Rough Side of The Mountain, my Granparents used to play this song all the time, that song is tied to so many memories. The song had been playing in my head for a while but that night I had felt compelled to actually pull the song up on Youtube. When I pulled it up and listened to it, I felt a warm sensation on my face like she was cupping my face with her hands and then the tears just came rolling down my eyes. At this moment I did not know why I was crying after all I had already made plans to see her before she passed away; the next day the call came letting me know that was not going to happen. My mom let me know they were considering removing the tube at the end of that week. They indeed decided to remove the tube that Friday and who ever wanted to be there for her last moments were welcome to come. I couldn't...my last memory was of her healthy, laughing and cracking on my uncle and that is what I wanted my last memory of her to remain as. :(
I can say losing my Granmother brought about a reality that we are all getting older and life is not forever. Though she was in her early 80s to me it still felt as though the time that she spent here was entirely to short...anyway after that a string of deaths happened that were completely unexpected, which pushed me even more to approach my life differently.
Sometime after my Granmother's death I had entered what I call a "weird place", at the time I could not define it but as time went on I began to listen to what my soul really wanted/needed and I began to give into what it had been crying for; I started doing things for me, the things I wanted to do and like to do.
I joined a running group and began running. After only a few weeks of running I suddenly ended up running my first race and since then running has become quite an addiction. I started to look at my relationships and the time I put into them, the role I played in them, I began to look at whether those unions bring negative or positive vibes into my life and if the time I was putting in was even worth it; with one person it was a no so I ended up letting that go. I found that after letting that situation go a lot of things began to open up for me and I started utilizing my time in a manner that benefited me and not any one else. How liberating that was...
I am now at a point where I can define my "weird place".
I want to live the best life that I can live. Experience things, see things, continue to grow, become a better person than I am now and be a blessing to others. I want to spend my time with the people that are special to me, know me well and cherish the time we have together. Most importantly I just want to have some fun. :) I have become very selective about what I do and who I do it with and I find that I have gotten better about gauging whether an activity or a person is worth my time. So as far as the dating scene goes I have not had any inclination to date...yeah I will talk to some people and if it seems we aren't on the same page I shrug my shoulders and go on about my way; but otherwise I'm not trying. I don't know what it is call it laziness, call it fear or what ever I'm just not up to it right now.
Anyway, I know there is much more life changes to come in the near future. I have had to make some hard choices recently and now I just made some sudden choice (trying to get my daughter into the local charter school at the last minute...lol) but no matter how it all works out, it is ok because that is exactly how God intended for it to end.
Stay blessed folks...
Friday, April 27, 2012
This Here Sucks...
So I stepped on the scale this morning to get an idea of what to expect when I go to the doctor's office today and I was greeted with this bs here...
So you mean to tell me that after all the hard work I have done over the last 3 weeks and .6lbs was the best that could happen? Really?
I see that I am beginning to plateau with my weight loss and this is how I'm feeling about it right now....
I don't know what's worse the plateau or the inability to effectively balance my body on my elbows aka the Yoga pose "Crow"...
I see I am going to have to be a little bit more aggressive in my efforts and yes I will be attempting to practice mastering the Crow pose every damn day until I get it. Yesterday I took a little tumble in my attempts but falling on my face (literally) is not going to stop me.
Just ugh!!! Sips lemon water and I'm out.
So you mean to tell me that after all the hard work I have done over the last 3 weeks and .6lbs was the best that could happen? Really?
I see that I am beginning to plateau with my weight loss and this is how I'm feeling about it right now....
I don't know what's worse the plateau or the inability to effectively balance my body on my elbows aka the Yoga pose "Crow"...
Just ugh!!! Sips lemon water and I'm out.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Won't Call It A Come Back (Randomness)
Yeah, yeah I know it's been 5 months and all six of my loyal followers might be looking at this side ways like, heffa where you been?! Yeah I know, so disrespectful.
Welllll the last few months have been rough months filled with a whole lot of pain, disappointment and loss; lost my friend (RIP Cryssy), lost my teeth (oral surgery), got "sick", almost lost my life (literally), found out my granmother is dying and had to lose excess wasting my time, energy and good air of a man (I take ownership of my part in perpetuating this bs of a situation). Granted I love said man but I guess we can go back many entries and write a few novels on loving all the wrong people and loving people who simply don't deserve the love I have to give...life lessons, I suppose I will put that in the vault.
Anyway, ummm yeah, I'm just beginning to see a ray of sunshine at the end of this tunnel. Now if my blood work comes back right then I can stop going to the doctor for follow up visits and completely escape the threat of having to go back to the hospital that steadily stays looming over my head, then the sun will be shining rather brightly on me :)
So everything I had been going through had me feeling so lost. My world had literally been turned upside down. I found the things I thought I wanted I wasn't so sure I wanted those things any more. I had lost my focus, I needed time to get myself together, figure out what I wanted, where I was going and just work on getting there. So basically I have been investing time in working, raising my children, trying to get myself together and move the hell on with my life. I mean really it has to get better than this, it just has to.
Outside of working on me I have been searching for other activities that would keep me more engaged in church and busy. I also have been teetering on broadening my social media horizons and getting on twitter but, I'm trying to stay positive. I want to spread my cheer not negativity and I feel as though twitter would be an outlet for what I like to call my "mean girl thoughts" which is not positive at all. Now those who know me, know me would probably say, you are so sweet I can't imagine you saying/doing anything mean. Welll think again! I admit I have a mean streak and for the most part I just don't like half the things people say and do. Ok, I don't like more than half the things (let's say 60, 65%) people say and do. Some times people get so out of control that it moves me to lose my spirituality and Jesus like nature and I feel compelled to say not so nice things like, "STFU and have a whole row of seats until further notice", my personal favorite "GFY" or "get some peen and a few hard nuts and have a seat some where"...I can go on and on.
Ok, let me move away from the meanness before it over takes me and becomes a serious problem. I have been working out and I realized I missed working out so much. I have lost a good amount of weight already and though I have many more pounds to go I am going hard working at it. I have broadened my horizons in terms of the different types of exercises I have been doing or open to do, through that I found that I LOVE Yoga. I am really considering putting some real time into it so I can become a Yoga instructor within the next two years. I am also considering going back to running but my right knee is saying, "bitch you're doing to much take a seat" so I will most likely pay a visit to my regular doctor about the knee before I proceed with the running thing. Hopefully it will be something as simple as my just needing to wear a knee brace when I run or work out.
Let me see...what else am I leaving out. Oh well I did go to therapy to help with my coping with all that is going on. I can say hands down this is the best therapist I have ever seen and she was really helpful. Despite the fact that she attributes my progress to all the personal journal writing I have been doing, how I process things and deal with situations I really feel her walking me through everything has helped. In my last two sessions she kind of touched on the subject of me dating and finding someone for me. We went through the type of man that I would need and want in my life and then she gave me an assignment *looks from side to side*...she wants me to take a few months to get back on track and then afterwards she wants me to "put myself out there to meet someone" *crickets*.
Now...when she gave me this assignment I was like, "errr how am I to do that?!" I had that response because I'm a home body. Yes, I do like to go out and do thing sometimes but after working the whole week at a stressful job, church activities, kids activities, and family activities I kind of like to lay out on the couch in front of the TV while enjoying the perfect combination of silence and white noise of the TV. Then there is meeting some one through a friend. Been there done that and that was an EPIC FAIL. I can't say that I would not consider having a friend hook me up with someone again but I am going to be discerning about who said friend is, as it has to be someone who REALLY knows me...I mean knows all sides of me not just the side they see when we are kicking it.
I have been asked have I found anyone at the gym and that is a negative.no, when I am in the gym I am focused on me and making it through my work outs alive with out injuries. So I really don't know how all this is going to pan out. I would say that I have a plethora of things to do in order to avoid this but she called me on that before I could even think it (yes she is a real good therapist). I don't even know where to begin with this and online dating it an out. I mean seriously after I looked at a possible match's profile and his picture looked like a mug shot and his user name was Murderer I kind of drew the conclusion that I will not be stumbling upon my man via the internet. Anyway, i'm pretty sure a door will open...maybe someone I once messed with will redeem themselves and we can make a go at it??? *long pause and looks around the room* Nooooooo, there is only one person that can do that and he is too chicken shit to do it so I will move along. Now where that is along is?? Who the hell knows.
Ok, I'm tired, I'm rambling senselessly and though I am working from home tomorrow I still need to take my ass to bed. You folks stay cool,calm and collected until next time, be blessed!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
A Moment....
Once in a while during the hormonal time of the month I'm easily irritated and generally feel as though I was body slammed. I can say I was doing pretty good today considering I was working from home and getting things at home and at work done all the while feeling like Granma after haven gotten run over by a reindeer.
So I took it upon myself to respond to an email that I got from my aunt about Thanksgiving dinner; I let her know I was going to bring the green beans and drinks. I replied to all so folks will know that slot was taken and to pick something else. My other aunt (please remember from here on out that I do love her) responded, "please don't use any meat and season them really well".
I immediately had a flash back to the Sunday before last when said aunt called asking me what did I need for her to bring to my daughter's birthday party and I requested she bring a salad. Easy enough, right? Well I get a call a few hours before the party from said aunt asking me what stores were near me; the intention was to buy the salad up my way and make it at my house. Ok! No problem! So a few hours after the party started my cousin breezes in with a big ass bag of lettuce. I ask her, "what the hell is this?!" and she responds, "your salad". I'm all confused wondering how the hell a bag of lettuce equates to a full fledged salad. When my aunt gets here uber late as always I was like, "you're fired!" after apologies she said she would run to the store to get a tomato for the "salad". After being gone for almost an hour (they warned me about sending her to the store) she comes back with a tomato, cuts it up and dumps a can of waxed beans in it and calls it a salad.
Needless to say when I got her emailed response of "please don't use meat and season them really well" I was irritated and had to stop myself from responding to her like she was someone off the streets and not my aunt. But God is working on me with a lot of things and I know I couldn't tell her that if that is how she wanted it then maybe she should make them herself or being like awwww change of plans I'm not coming I'm going to stay home and eat my meat loaded, under seasoned green beans at home or make them loaded with meat and under seasoned and just let her know I didn't get the message...there are so many places I could have taken it but I decided to politely inform her that I don't use meat for taste. O:-)
Yep that took all my energy and yes I was hella irritated but I suppose that was the "adult" thing to do, opposed to truly having a nigga moment...though the nigga moment can be fun but being an adult is more respectable, so I've heard.
I'm done, tired and maybe I will blog tomorrow....only God knows.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Some Thing Is Better Than Nothing...I Suppose
So yesterday morning I stepped on the scale for my dreaded weekly weigh in and the movement or lack there of made me raise an eyebrow at the blasted thing...yes I even considered throwing the damn thing in the trash.
Yes, the weight reading irritated me but what sent me over the edge is when I entered my new weight into the iphone app and I got this message, "Congratulations! You have lost .4lbs this week! Keep up the good work!"....the hell?! Really? I was salty all day yesterday to the point where I was discussing it with my girl friend and had a melt down, which consisted of my saying, "Fuck Weight Watchers, fuck Jennifer Hudson and her new "urms" (thanks TM).
So yeah I had a melt down and I'm over it...some what. Hopefully this week will be a better week and I won't have to struggle as much. One thing I realized though is that I need to start going on more active dates, where we are out doing some sort of physical actively like dancing so I can stay on track with my eating. I am beginning to realize when you are dating some one who has a much bigger problem with food than you do, that in itself can get you hemmed up (I don't need enablers) and that is alll I'm going to say about that.
Have a blessed weekend folks!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)