Parental Woes...

There is something that automatically triggers in a parent from the time you find out your bundle of joy will be arrive. Everything changes and you slowly begin to prepare for you baby to arrive. You do everything you think you should do, what your doctor tells you to do and avoid the things you aren't supposed to do in hopes that your baby will come out with a good spirit and health that will follow them all through their life.

I can say when Lil Bit was born she screamed for hours (until they let me hold her), she had ten fingers, ten toes and eyes the color of Caribbean ocean water; she was perfect. She was most quiet as a baby, so quiet that people would even question if I had a baby but something changed after the age of two. It was not real noticeable until she got to daycare and had to socialize with other children that she was entirely too hyper and emotional but hey, she was two. Hyper and emotional is part of the day to day life of a two year old.

Fast forward to age four and I am scrambling around trying to prepare this four year old who is still displaying characteristics of a two year old for kindergarten. I am beginning to feel the frustration seep in as I am dealing with medical and behavioral specialists that have no clue and or no inclination to assist me in trying to make sure she is well. In this past year alone I have been bounced from specialist to specialist and finally the school got involved again. The school went out and found a suitable behavioral specialist that seems to be passionate about her job and most importantly dedicated to helping Lil Bit. Though I have her in place I still need the support of her doctor's which for the most part has been lacking. I just don't understand how so many medical professionals can say, " I won't do", "don't do" and "I can't do".

So right now I am spending my evening looking for a child psychologist that will administer a simple but expensive test that will hopefully put us one step closer to finding strategies that will help her develop the skills that she needs to develop in order to survive in the school system. I just have to pray that this too shall pass...


As I sat and looked at Lil Bit sleeping tonight I began to wonder when will I know if all this paid off? When she successfully graduates high school or college? When she functions well within a career and relationships? When she gets married and has children of her own? I don't ask for the purpose of having satisfaction that as a mother I did a good job raising her. I just want to make sure that though it all she is happy, especially in the end. I hate trying to figure out if her Dad not being around or her not having a Dad in her life at all is having an adverse effect on her or feeling the torment she is feeling when she apologizes for an out burst and tells me that she is trying really hard not to act like she does.

I know when parenting children there are going to be many challenges, I had challenges with my older two but I never expected this. Before my children were even formed in my womb God gave me a visions for how their lives were to be. He most certainly gave me no warning as to what I was going to have to endure getting them there....just frustrated.