Anyway...
I hate the conflict between my mind and my heart. As always my heart is far beyond where my mind is...wayyyyy to far.
I mean damn! Can my heart not race when ever I hear his voice? When he kisses me here there, there and there, can I not melt (inside and out)?:-) Do I always have to lose focus when he calls or texts me? This ultra warm and fuzzy feeling has been over taking me for the last month or two and it getting stronger. I guess what I am feeling is actually happiness to a degree (among other things) which is a feeling I have not experienced in a long time. Yet, the whole situation just makes it so bitter sweet.
I kind of hate not feeling comfortable enough to fully indulge in and enjoy the feeling or even the moments that I have with this person. I swear if there were such thing as true and complete perfection for me, it would be him. For many years I have dated of and on maybe had a relationship here and there but in all those situations I have never been willing to give that person the world nor allow them completely into mine. Surprisingly I feel as though I want to give this person the world and let him run loose in my world...oh wait that shit is scary right there I can't allow running loose in my world but y'all get what I'm saying.
I had rejoined a dating site (not eharmony...bastards) thinking that if I stepped my dating game up then maybe I would have a few distractions and in time the feeling I have for him will fade away due to said pleasant distractions. I'm beginning to feel as though that is not going work out like that. I swear this feels like 2002-2004 all over again...how do I manage to get myself into these predicaments (rhetorical question)?
This sucks. I need to get my heart and emotions under control but it's like quick sand... the more I fight it the more I sink.
Stay cool folks!
Well Kid looks like you have been hit with a love arrow. Don't fight it!
ReplyDeleteWarm Regards,
Cupid
haaaahaaaaahaaaa...