Playing With Fire...

What is it about a situation where you know you are clearly playing with fire but you simply can't stop? I mean the situation has you so mesmerized and in your moral mind , your rationale mind you know that you need to stop but there is a part that wonders how close can you get to the flame with out getting burned??

Is there ever an instance where you can play with fire even for a little bit and not get burned?

Anyway...

I have been trying to figure out how to help a friend with out creating a false hope that there is going to be something more than a friendship with this person. Yes, this person and I used to date many moons ago and we dated off and on for years; but once you do me wrong and/or cross me I cannot fathom ever going back with that person no matter how much they may have changed. Something happens and I look at people different, I act differently and the dynamics of our situation along with my feelings for them tend to change. I eventually come to a point where I can be friends with them because I still care, but that is how I do after the love is gone.

Story of my life, they don't appreciate me when they have me then regret it after I leave. Now I am trying not to hurt feelings in the midst of just trying to be a good friend. :(

I am usually good at side stepping certain conversations and questions (I could be a politician LOL!) but when a person tells you that they love you, there is no side stepping it. In this case it was just awkward silence, I don't tell some one that I love them if I don't. To me love is a serious expression of feelings that needs not to be played with. Anyway, I know that does not matter to him... I am sure he is thinking that once he gets back to the east coast it is game on and he will change things...I seriously doubt that would be possible...

It is so amazing to be loved but it makes for a messed up situation when you just don't feel the same in return.