New Year, Higher Goals...

As I scroll through my FB news feed I see all the resolutions, the things people are strongly stating they will leave behind and posing the question/challenge to others to resolve, start anew or leave behind things in 2012. Ehh to each his or her own.

After reflecting on how 2012 started I can say I'm just glad to be here and that I'm healthy. I learned this year that life is entirely to short, who you have around you can adversely effect your life and be mindful of who you share your time with...

For some reason I'm struggling with this blog and I have no clue as to why. I have done so much this year; I have lost 57 lbs, picked up a sport that I love, ran a few races, gotten my child on the right path, started a business, among many other things (dang I've been busy). All are great accomplishments and I can only give God glory for it all.

Despite my life not being what or how I would like for it to be I can't go into this new year looking at what I need to leave behind because as far as i'm concerned I clean house, make changes and leave stuff/people behind all year round. I can only look at it as taking everything I have learned and accomplished into the new year with me and just improving upon it.

I still have 27lbs to lose, 2 half marathons, one relay race and a 5k to run next year. I have a certification exam to push myself to study for, take and pass for my day job. I have a new position to get. I have a list of bills that I need/want to pay off so they can stop taking all my damn money. I have a business that I need to get over a hump that it hit this year. Hell, I still wondering if the man I'm to share the rest of my life has found me yet. ;-)

I know this blog is not heavily seasoned with sarcastic, quick witted thoughts but hey this is all I have.

Oh wait, I spoke too soon. Duck lip pictures folks. You are over 25 making duck lip pictures, kisses, lip puckers what ever. Please stop it. I don't want to see any more of it. A grin, half smile, or full smile will do just fine. So please keep your lips in, that shit is not cute.  Negros on Youtube ok that provides me with much laughter so I won't demand for that to stop.

Ok, I'm done. You all be blessed, be safe and have a Happy New Year!

Pacing Myself...

I'm blogging via iPhone's Blogger app so excuse any unusual formatting or typos.

Anyway, my life has gotten excitingly hectic over the last few months and I feel as though I am coming to the point where I need to ground myself, set some realistic deadlines and just pace myself in terms of making things happen.

I have always wanted to start a business but I wanted the business to be something that I was passionate about. When I discovered the wonderful world of running my Facebook inbox exploded, phone blew up with calls and text messages because I lost a large majority of weight via the running. Amongst all the questions people had for me and statements that were made they always said, I want to but I can't because of XYZ. I'm a firm believer in the following; anyone can do anything they put their mind to, there is more than one way to skin a cat and anyone can fit some form of fitness into their life, just remember to keep moving. Yes, that is right keep moving whether it's starting off walking a mile, riding a bike taking a class or swinging on a pole; don't stop moving. <~~~~ See what I'm talking about? I can't turn it off.

Through my encouragement of others I came up with my company name in conversation with my sorority sister, which moved me to start a blog called Running Is...www.runningis.com. At the time I started the blog I figured it would be a one stop shop for people to get the answers to all their questions and to keep up with my personal progress, trials and achievements as I continue to lose weight and master the wonderful sport of running. I fell so deep into motivating and inspiring people that the concept of Running Is.. began to grow and now I'm working on selling performance athletic apparel that will inspire and motivate people to get up, get out, get moving and keep moving. I'm so excited and thankful that God has opened up so many doors for me to get this company going that in some ways I can't believe it is happening. None the less I'm embracing it and walking in my purpose.

Moving right along. I have gotten to the point where I hate my job. My stomach turns when I pull up in the parking lot type hate. So I am studying to get my PHR Certification so I can land another job, closer to home or working from home that pays more money. That should sustain me aka pay the bills for a few years while I continue to build my business and my brand so I can run the business full time at some point. I've taken away a few things from my current situation such as, I don't want to work for anyone else other than myself. If I'm going to be underpaid and held back growth, title and money wise then it mine as well be on my own terms and not anyone else's. Never entrust the course of my career and career endeavors to anyone else, always empower myself to make a way to the goal position I want to be in and not the position someone wants to put me in...that is all I have but I'm holding onto these lessons none the less. I have already brought all my stuff home from work that was on my desk because when the day comes for me to resign I don't want to have to worry about having to pack anything up and take it with me, I can just leave.

Next!

Though I have two 5K races coming up and a possible 10k I'm currently training to fun my first half marathon in December. I'm not going to lie training is beginning to kick my butt, however I am going to press through it and get it done.

So you see I need to refocus and pace myself because I have all of the above on top of my duties as a mother, main household provider and attempting to put myself out there to meet some one and date. Phew I'm tired. Could explain why I have been sleeping good every night.

Anyway, check out the blog www.runningis.com, "Like" Running Is on Facebook, follow me on Twitter @RunningIs1 and why is the song She Ratchet rolling in my head???LOL! Let me go to bed. Night all and be blessed.

Miss. Lady

Changes...

Wow, I'm looking at my blog roll and realizing my last entry was in April. My so much has happened...a lot has changed. Not long after my last post my Granmother had passed away...she had been sick  for a while and had a long struggle. Though my mom had told me they were going to remove her breathing tube, based on the experience I had the night before she called me with the news, I felt as though her spirit had long since left her body prior to them removing her breathing tube.

There is an old gospel song, Rough Side of The Mountain, my Granparents used to play this song all the time, that song is tied to so many memories. The song had been playing in my head for a while but that night I had felt compelled to actually pull the song up on Youtube. When I pulled it up and listened to it, I felt a warm sensation on my face like she was cupping my face with her hands and then the tears just came rolling down my eyes. At this moment I did not know why I was crying after all I had already made plans to see her before she passed away; the next day the call came letting me know that was not going to happen. My mom let me know they were considering removing the tube at the end of that week. They indeed decided to remove the tube that Friday and who ever wanted to be there for her last moments were welcome to come. I couldn't...my last memory was of her healthy, laughing and cracking on my uncle and that is what I wanted my last memory of her to remain as. :(

I can say losing my Granmother brought about a reality that we are all getting older and life is not forever. Though she was in her early 80s to me it still felt as though the time that she spent here was entirely to short...anyway after that a string of deaths happened that were completely unexpected, which pushed me even more to approach my life differently.

Sometime after my Granmother's death I had entered what I call a "weird place", at the time I could not define it but as time went on I began to listen to what my soul really wanted/needed and I began to give into what it had been crying for; I started doing things for me, the things I wanted to do and like to do.

I joined a running group and began running. After only a few weeks of running I suddenly ended up running my first race and since then running has become quite an addiction. I started to look at my relationships and the time I put into them, the role I played in them, I began to look at whether those unions bring negative or positive vibes into my life and if the time I was putting in was even worth it; with one person it was a no so I ended up letting that go. I found that after letting that situation go a lot of things began to open up for me and I started utilizing my time in a manner that benefited me and not any one else. How liberating that was...

I am now at a point where I can define my "weird place".

I want to live the best life that I can live. Experience things, see things, continue to grow, become a better person than I am now and be a blessing to others. I want to spend my time with the people that are special to me, know me well and cherish the time we have together. Most importantly I just want to have some fun. :)  I have become very selective about what I do and who I do it with and I find that I have gotten better about gauging whether an activity or a person is worth my time. So as far as the dating scene goes I have not had any inclination to date...yeah I will talk to some people and if it seems we aren't on the same page I shrug my shoulders and go on about my way; but otherwise I'm not trying. I don't know what it is call it laziness, call it fear or what ever I'm just not up to it right now.

Anyway, I know there is much more life changes to come in the near future. I have had to make some hard choices recently and now I just made some sudden choice (trying to get my daughter into the local charter school at the last minute...lol) but no matter how it all works out, it is ok because that is exactly how God intended for it to end.


Stay blessed folks...

This Here Sucks...

So I stepped on the scale this morning to get an idea of what to expect when I go to the doctor's office today and I was greeted with this bs here...

So you mean to tell me that after all the hard work I have done over the last 3 weeks  and .6lbs was the best that could happen? Really?

I see that I am beginning to plateau with my weight loss and this is how I'm feeling about it right now....

I don't know what's worse the plateau or the inability to effectively balance my body on my elbows aka the Yoga pose "Crow"...

I see I am going to have to be a little bit more aggressive in my efforts and yes I will be attempting to practice mastering the Crow pose every damn day until I get it. Yesterday I took a little tumble in my attempts but falling on my face (literally) is not going to stop me.

Just ugh!!! Sips lemon water and I'm out.

Won't Call It A Come Back (Randomness)

Yeah, yeah I know it's been 5 months and all six of my loyal followers might be looking at this side ways like, heffa where you been?! Yeah I know, so disrespectful.

Welllll the last few months have been rough months filled with a whole lot of pain, disappointment and loss; lost my friend (RIP Cryssy), lost my teeth (oral surgery), got "sick", almost lost my life (literally), found out my granmother is dying and had to lose excess wasting my time, energy and good air of a man (I take ownership of my part in perpetuating this bs of a situation). Granted I love said man but I guess we can go back many entries and write a few novels on loving all the wrong people and loving people who simply don't deserve the love I have to give...life lessons, I suppose I will put that in the vault.

Anyway, ummm yeah, I'm just beginning to see a ray of sunshine at the end of this tunnel. Now if my blood work comes back right then I can stop going to the doctor for follow up visits and completely escape the threat of having to go back to the hospital that steadily stays looming over my head, then the sun will be shining rather brightly on me :)

So everything I had been going through had me feeling so lost. My world had literally been turned upside down. I found the things I thought I wanted I wasn't so sure I wanted those things any more. I had lost my focus, I needed time to get myself together, figure out what I wanted, where I was going and just work on getting there. So basically I have been investing time in working, raising my children, trying to get myself together and move the hell on with my life. I mean really it has to get better than this, it just has to.

Outside of working on me I have been searching for other activities that would keep me more engaged in church and busy. I also have been teetering on broadening my social media horizons and getting on twitter but, I'm trying to stay positive. I want to spread my cheer not negativity and I feel as though twitter would be an outlet for what I like to call my "mean girl thoughts" which is not positive at all. Now those who know me, know me would probably say, you are so sweet I can't imagine you saying/doing anything mean. Welll think again! I admit I have a mean streak and for the most part I just don't like half the things people say and do. Ok, I don't like more than half the things (let's say 60, 65%) people say and do. Some times people get so out of control that it moves me to lose my spirituality and Jesus like nature and I feel compelled to say not so nice things like, "STFU and have a whole row of seats until further notice", my personal favorite "GFY" or "get some peen and a few hard nuts and have a seat some where"...I can go on and on.

Ok, let me move away from the meanness before it over takes me and becomes a serious problem. I have been working out and I realized I missed working out so much. I have lost a good amount of weight already and though I have many more pounds to go I am going hard working at it. I have broadened my horizons in terms of the different types of exercises I have been doing or open to do, through that I found that I LOVE Yoga. I am really considering putting some real time into it so I can become a Yoga instructor within the next two years. I am also considering going back to running but my right knee is saying, "bitch you're doing to much take a seat" so I will most likely pay a visit to my regular doctor about the knee before I proceed with the running thing. Hopefully it will be something as simple as my just needing to wear a knee brace when I run or work out.

Let me see...what else am I leaving out. Oh well I did go to therapy to help with my coping with all that is going on. I can say hands down this is the best therapist I have ever seen and she was really helpful. Despite the fact that she attributes my progress to all the personal journal writing I have been doing, how I process things and deal with situations I really feel her walking me through everything has helped. In my last two sessions she kind of touched on the subject of me dating and finding someone for me. We went through the type of man that I would need and want in my life and then she gave me an assignment *looks from side to side*...she wants me to take a few months to get back on track and then afterwards she wants me to "put myself out there to meet someone" *crickets*.

Now...when she gave me this assignment I was like, "errr how am I to do that?!" I had that response because I'm a home body. Yes, I do like to go out and do thing sometimes but after working the whole week at a stressful job, church activities, kids activities, and family activities I kind of like to lay out on the couch in front of the TV while enjoying the perfect combination of silence and white noise of the TV. Then there is meeting some one through a friend. Been there done that and that was an EPIC FAIL. I can't say that I would not consider having a friend hook me up with someone again but I am going to be discerning about who said friend is, as it has to be someone who REALLY knows me...I mean knows all sides of me not just the side they see when we are kicking it.

I have been asked have I found anyone at the gym and that is a negative.no, when I am in the gym I am focused on me and making it through my work outs alive with out injuries. So I really don't know how all this is going to pan out. I would say that I have a plethora of things to do in order to avoid this but she called me on that before I could even think it (yes she is a real good therapist). I don't even know where to begin with this and online dating it an out. I mean seriously after I looked at a possible match's profile and his picture looked like a mug shot and his user name was Murderer I kind of drew the conclusion that I will not be stumbling upon my man via the internet. Anyway, i'm pretty sure a door will open...maybe someone I once messed with will redeem themselves and we can make a go at it??? *long pause and looks around the room* Nooooooo, there is only one person that can do that and he is too chicken shit to do it so I will move along. Now where that is along is?? Who the hell knows.

Ok, I'm tired, I'm rambling senselessly and though I am working from home tomorrow I still need to take my ass to bed. You folks stay cool,calm and collected until next time, be blessed!