Not sure if I can make five...but we shall see...
1. Raising my children to be productive members of society.
2. Helping others
3. Staying healthy and fit.
4. Running
5. Being a better me
Monday, February 11, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 7- What Is Your Dream Job? Why?
My dream job would be to run my business full time. It is something that I really enjoy doing and it comes to me naturally like breathing. I won't have to answer to anyone but myself, don't have to punch a clock, my success is dependent upon how hard I work not by how hard someone feels that I'm working. I have so many ideas for the business yet I don't quite have the time to put into really making it what I envision for it to be.
...Yep! Many blessings to you all.
Friday, February 8, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 6- The Hardest Thing You Ever Experienced
I started thinking about this days ago more so because I have experienced some really hard times in my life. Anyway, the hardest thing I have ever experienced in life is the divorce I went through 10 years ago.
The loss of a marriage is really hard (even harder with kids involved) especially when you put so much of yourself in it, sacrificed and fought to make it work only for the other person to basically check out on you. I think the part that makes it even harder is how people change... someone that once loved you so much basically no longer has your best interest at heart; they no longer care about you, your feelings or what happens to you. You find that not only do you have to rebuild financially, physically but spiritually and emotionally as well.
Ahh well that is over. Life has since gone on. Much love, many blessing and peace to everyone.
The loss of a marriage is really hard (even harder with kids involved) especially when you put so much of yourself in it, sacrificed and fought to make it work only for the other person to basically check out on you. I think the part that makes it even harder is how people change... someone that once loved you so much basically no longer has your best interest at heart; they no longer care about you, your feelings or what happens to you. You find that not only do you have to rebuild financially, physically but spiritually and emotionally as well.
Ahh well that is over. Life has since gone on. Much love, many blessing and peace to everyone.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 5- What Are The 5 Things That Make You Most Happy Right Now?
Finally, a break from the deep personal stuff...right now at this moment?
1. Cupcakes
2. Running
3. The 70% off with an additional 20% off shoe sale at Nine West.
4. Ibuprofen
5. Payday
Mhm, that was easy. Peace and blessings!
1. Cupcakes
2. Running
3. The 70% off with an additional 20% off shoe sale at Nine West.
4. Ibuprofen
5. Payday
Mhm, that was easy. Peace and blessings!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 4- 10 Things You Would Tell Your 16 Year Old Self
Oooooooo I get to save myself from all the mistakes, heart ache and pain? Welllll alrighty then! Let's go!
1. When you turn 17 (a year from now) DO NOT take those 26 Benedryl fast acting capsules. The near death experience is not worth what drove you to go off the deep end. You need to learn how to be strong and start praying through things. Start asking for professional help now! Trust me there are many, many, many more darker, pitch black days to come and none of those days are worth the life you have. Joy does come in the morning, press to wake up and find the joy.
2. Take the extra science, math and Spanish classes Baby Girl. Take the SAT, go to Temple University as planned and don't...I'm telling you don't take Pre Pharmacy or Psychology. Become a business major and go into HR. Trust me you will encounter more than your share of crazy and mentally disturbed people than you care to encounter just from working in HR. If you really can't swing school "be all you can be" and go into the Army now, not later (trust me you don't want to go later...TRUST ME!) Oh and you might want to start putting plans in place for an "app" called Instagram. What?! I'm trying to help me out! LOL! *looks from side to side*
3. Don't allow for fear or supposed love to keep you stuck here. Yes "he" loves you BUT his "epiphany" will not last long. There will be more fights, more bruises, and you will sacrifice for him only to get the short end of the stick in the end. He will hurt you to your core. Stick to the plan that includes you and you only.
4. Watch who makes your drink. Watch them as they make your drink. Don't accept a drink from someone you are not familiar with. If you set your drink down and take your eye off of it don't even think about drinking from that cup again.
5. Watch who you call "friend" not everyone is your friend and not every one has your back.
6. Don't ever be cool with being left alone with a strange dude that you are not familiar with and/or never met. Don't get sassy with said unfamiliar strange dudes and don't allow for yourself to be lured. Matter of fact when your friends roll you just stick to them like white on rice and roll with them.
7. Despite what you were told as a kid you are smart, beautiful, and worthy of all the love in the world. You have the greatest, sweetest spirit and you will always strive to be a genuine, yet awesome person. Learn this, know it and own it. People and life will test your knowledge of this heavily.
8. It is ok to be alone. There is nothing wrong with being with out a man. Nothing at all. You may find that it makes life easier sometimes.
9. Finish up your Cosmetology exam and don't stop until you pass it before you go off to school. It is priceless and will serve you well later in life.
10. Through anything you go through or no matter how alone you may feel, just know that God is always with you and God is the only one you can always go to and rely on.
This makes me wish I had a time machine.
1. When you turn 17 (a year from now) DO NOT take those 26 Benedryl fast acting capsules. The near death experience is not worth what drove you to go off the deep end. You need to learn how to be strong and start praying through things. Start asking for professional help now! Trust me there are many, many, many more darker, pitch black days to come and none of those days are worth the life you have. Joy does come in the morning, press to wake up and find the joy.
2. Take the extra science, math and Spanish classes Baby Girl. Take the SAT, go to Temple University as planned and don't...I'm telling you don't take Pre Pharmacy or Psychology. Become a business major and go into HR. Trust me you will encounter more than your share of crazy and mentally disturbed people than you care to encounter just from working in HR. If you really can't swing school "be all you can be" and go into the Army now, not later (trust me you don't want to go later...TRUST ME!) Oh and you might want to start putting plans in place for an "app" called Instagram. What?! I'm trying to help me out! LOL! *looks from side to side*
3. Don't allow for fear or supposed love to keep you stuck here. Yes "he" loves you BUT his "epiphany" will not last long. There will be more fights, more bruises, and you will sacrifice for him only to get the short end of the stick in the end. He will hurt you to your core. Stick to the plan that includes you and you only.
4. Watch who makes your drink. Watch them as they make your drink. Don't accept a drink from someone you are not familiar with. If you set your drink down and take your eye off of it don't even think about drinking from that cup again.
5. Watch who you call "friend" not everyone is your friend and not every one has your back.
6. Don't ever be cool with being left alone with a strange dude that you are not familiar with and/or never met. Don't get sassy with said unfamiliar strange dudes and don't allow for yourself to be lured. Matter of fact when your friends roll you just stick to them like white on rice and roll with them.
7. Despite what you were told as a kid you are smart, beautiful, and worthy of all the love in the world. You have the greatest, sweetest spirit and you will always strive to be a genuine, yet awesome person. Learn this, know it and own it. People and life will test your knowledge of this heavily.
8. It is ok to be alone. There is nothing wrong with being with out a man. Nothing at all. You may find that it makes life easier sometimes.
9. Finish up your Cosmetology exam and don't stop until you pass it before you go off to school. It is priceless and will serve you well later in life.
10. Through anything you go through or no matter how alone you may feel, just know that God is always with you and God is the only one you can always go to and rely on.
This makes me wish I had a time machine.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 3- Describe Your Relationship With Your Parents
Shit...my relationship with my parents? *long silence* Hmmm...ok I have spent thousands of dollars and a lot of time in therapy to work through my issues with the parental units (and my child hood overall). In being a parent myself along with getting older I realized that a relationship with ones parents is forever changing. The type of parent a person needs at 16, 20, 25 and 30 changes as that child begins to grow personally and becomes more of an independent, responsible adult.
In short, I would say that the relationship with my parents is a good one. I know it could be better with my Mom at least, which is something I work on. I'm a Daddy's girl (I'm spoiled) so things are always cool with Dad...I should say for the most part they are cool. LOL! Some times Dad tends to ask too many evasive questions for my liking, but I understand that is his job as a parent. None the less as they get older I grow more concerned about their health and happiness more than ever before. I find that I am doing all the worrying and checking to see if they are ok while they are straight chillin and living life...it is kind of like the tables are beginning to turn and the child is slowly starting to become more of the parent so to speak.
This is all you all are going to get out of me on this subject. Peace, blessings and much love.
In short, I would say that the relationship with my parents is a good one. I know it could be better with my Mom at least, which is something I work on. I'm a Daddy's girl (I'm spoiled) so things are always cool with Dad...I should say for the most part they are cool. LOL! Some times Dad tends to ask too many evasive questions for my liking, but I understand that is his job as a parent. None the less as they get older I grow more concerned about their health and happiness more than ever before. I find that I am doing all the worrying and checking to see if they are ok while they are straight chillin and living life...it is kind of like the tables are beginning to turn and the child is slowly starting to become more of the parent so to speak.
This is all you all are going to get out of me on this subject. Peace, blessings and much love.
Monday, February 4, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 2- 3 Legitimate Fears
Legitimate fears? A fear is a fear but any whooo...
I am afraid of heights. When I was about 4 years of age a male family member had picked me up and started throwing me up in the air. He acted as if he was not going to catch me, which left me with the feeling of not particularly liking being thrown almost 7 feet in the air, with a strong uncertainty that someone was going to be there to catch me. So since then I have been afraid of high places. If I am in a position where I have to go up higher than what I'm comfortable with I get really quiet and I hold on tight to who ever I am with.
I also have a fear of clowns. They freak me out, I don't like them, don't understand their purpose and quite frankly I don't care to. This fear came about when I was young, I snuck and watched Stephen King's 'It', this movie had completely changed my outlook on clowns.
Last but never least I have a fear of snakes. I have always feared snakes since I could remember. How this fear came about I have no clue and particularly do not care. All I need to know is snakes bites, snakes bad...very bad. Last year I was running on one of the bike trails and I saw a snake slithering across my path. Talk about Flo Jo express and that I was; I literally hauled ass. I think that may have been one of my fastest runs ever since I started running. I remember for months after that snake sighting I always made sure to slow down and keep on the look out for snakes. I remember my friend rolling his eyes at me when I screamed after having stepped on a twig thinking it was a snake. Yeah the fear is real, I will show my whole ass and not really care one way on another.
So yeah those are the big three fears.
I am afraid of heights. When I was about 4 years of age a male family member had picked me up and started throwing me up in the air. He acted as if he was not going to catch me, which left me with the feeling of not particularly liking being thrown almost 7 feet in the air, with a strong uncertainty that someone was going to be there to catch me. So since then I have been afraid of high places. If I am in a position where I have to go up higher than what I'm comfortable with I get really quiet and I hold on tight to who ever I am with.
I also have a fear of clowns. They freak me out, I don't like them, don't understand their purpose and quite frankly I don't care to. This fear came about when I was young, I snuck and watched Stephen King's 'It', this movie had completely changed my outlook on clowns.
Last but never least I have a fear of snakes. I have always feared snakes since I could remember. How this fear came about I have no clue and particularly do not care. All I need to know is snakes bites, snakes bad...very bad. Last year I was running on one of the bike trails and I saw a snake slithering across my path. Talk about Flo Jo express and that I was; I literally hauled ass. I think that may have been one of my fastest runs ever since I started running. I remember for months after that snake sighting I always made sure to slow down and keep on the look out for snakes. I remember my friend rolling his eyes at me when I screamed after having stepped on a twig thinking it was a snake. Yeah the fear is real, I will show my whole ass and not really care one way on another.
So yeah those are the big three fears.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Love: Silly
Meditating on these two songs:
About two or three months ago I met someone that I felt as though and still feel as though I have a strong connection with. I think some where in the midst of us talking to each other I began to really feel some kind of way about how things were going between us. I can honestly say I feel as though I got mixed signals from him along with my own excitement and anticipation of what the relationship was to become. Silly me.
I have been sitting here wondering why the hell I have been letting this weigh me down or put me in a funk?? I mean this had me back in this place where I felt like completely giving up on dating/love all together, again and this time for good. Yet, I have no clue why I was feeling this strongly. I mean care for him but I was/am not in love with him. I'm dating/getting to know other people not just him, so what is it?
I figured out it was my disappointment in how things went considering the fact that we have a lot of commonalities and we have this amazingly strong connection to one another. He can read me and I can read him. Yeah it crossed my mind that I couldn't get away with entirely to much since he was able to read me so well but hey I was willing to take that risk. *shrugs*
Anyway, I'm trying to move past all of this but there is part of me that wants one of his amazing hugs or just wants him to hold me...for some reason I felt safe and secure in those moments. Like I was in a quiet place in the midst of a raging storm even if it was just for a few moments. None the less I am trying hard not to feel as though everything he was saying or feeding me was bull shit...ok so maybe a good 20% of it most likely was some straight bull shit. However, he would always say that he could tell that I have a lot of love inside of me and that is what brings me to my light bulb moment.
I do have a lot of love inside of me to give to someone but I am still waiting for that person worthy of all that love to come through. Part of me wants to give up and throw in the towel, but for some reason there seems to be something inside of me that is greater than me that will not allow for me to do such a thing. It is the same thing that keeps me going even when I feel as though I don't want to continue on with something. So I'm not done with love but I have to stop being so silly about the whole thing that much I know for sure.
It is like a bad pattern that I desire to break. I call myself giving people "outs" and they normally take them but hmmm that hasn't seemed to of happened in this case. I suppose he offered me his friendship by informing me that he is still here and honestly I have no clue what to do with it. So I just stay in my quiet little security blanket of being by myself and just let it work itself out either way.
Anyway...giving up is not an option at all. So I won't. I have a lunch date this week and another date Valentine's day weekend. Not expecting anything except fun and a good laugh (Lord knows I need it right now). I shall see.
Blessings, peace and love to you all.
About two or three months ago I met someone that I felt as though and still feel as though I have a strong connection with. I think some where in the midst of us talking to each other I began to really feel some kind of way about how things were going between us. I can honestly say I feel as though I got mixed signals from him along with my own excitement and anticipation of what the relationship was to become. Silly me.
I have been sitting here wondering why the hell I have been letting this weigh me down or put me in a funk?? I mean this had me back in this place where I felt like completely giving up on dating/love all together, again and this time for good. Yet, I have no clue why I was feeling this strongly. I mean care for him but I was/am not in love with him. I'm dating/getting to know other people not just him, so what is it?
I figured out it was my disappointment in how things went considering the fact that we have a lot of commonalities and we have this amazingly strong connection to one another. He can read me and I can read him. Yeah it crossed my mind that I couldn't get away with entirely to much since he was able to read me so well but hey I was willing to take that risk. *shrugs*
Anyway, I'm trying to move past all of this but there is part of me that wants one of his amazing hugs or just wants him to hold me...for some reason I felt safe and secure in those moments. Like I was in a quiet place in the midst of a raging storm even if it was just for a few moments. None the less I am trying hard not to feel as though everything he was saying or feeding me was bull shit...ok so maybe a good 20% of it most likely was some straight bull shit. However, he would always say that he could tell that I have a lot of love inside of me and that is what brings me to my light bulb moment.
I do have a lot of love inside of me to give to someone but I am still waiting for that person worthy of all that love to come through. Part of me wants to give up and throw in the towel, but for some reason there seems to be something inside of me that is greater than me that will not allow for me to do such a thing. It is the same thing that keeps me going even when I feel as though I don't want to continue on with something. So I'm not done with love but I have to stop being so silly about the whole thing that much I know for sure.
It is like a bad pattern that I desire to break. I call myself giving people "outs" and they normally take them but hmmm that hasn't seemed to of happened in this case. I suppose he offered me his friendship by informing me that he is still here and honestly I have no clue what to do with it. So I just stay in my quiet little security blanket of being by myself and just let it work itself out either way.
Anyway...giving up is not an option at all. So I won't. I have a lunch date this week and another date Valentine's day weekend. Not expecting anything except fun and a good laugh (Lord knows I need it right now). I shall see.
Blessings, peace and love to you all.
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 1- List 20 Random Facts About Yourself
*sigh* 20 random facts is a lot but I'm going to stick it out...here goes nothing.
1. I am a mother of 2 handsome 13 soon to be 14 year old young men and 1 pretty, sassy little 7 year old girl. I'm crazy about them, they know I can be a little crazy in real life and I'm glad they laugh at my moments of craziness.
2. Some times I have to withdraw from everything and everyone. In my personal and professional life I am literally the "go to" person or the one that people come to to "fix" the stuff they have messed up. Considering I have no one for me to "go to" all the time about everything and anything, I get over whelmed with people laying their cares and burdens on me; yet I still have my own to contend with, which leads me to withdraw from everyone so I can decompress, handle my own affairs and renew myself.
3. I'm a very quiet person and people mistake that in a lot of the wrong ways. I am either observing, thinking, plotting, planning, contemplating, reflecting or listening. Sometimes I might be holding my tongue, angry, growing angry or I may just be in a state of not caring at all.
4. Most conversations begin and end with me. I'm carrying so many secrets that if I wanted to I could write best selling novels. However, I don't like betraying the trust of those that confide in me so I shall take it with me to my grave and just spill it to Peter at the entrance of the pearly gates. LOL!
5. I am honest to a fault. Yes, I can't help but tell the truth even if I have to tell it in the most graceful manner. I am very methodical in what I say so if you ask me a "hard" question and find that I am silent then I am most likely searching for the most graceful, most gentle way of telling you the truth.
6. I'm really not as anti-social as I make myself out to be. I just don't particularly fool with too many people. I have become very selective in who I spend my time talking to and/or going out with. If I truly feel as though someone is on some bull shit, trying to play me or if that person is messy as hell then 9 times out of 10 I will not deal with them or deal with them from a respectable distance and yes this does include family as well.
7. I'm stubborn as hell. Most times my positions/stance will not be moved on something especially if it is something I feel very strongly about. It will really take someone to come to be with a few good points for me to ponder on before I will adjust my position/stance a little.
8. I hate my name. Sorry Mom! But I have never liked my name and the only reason why I have not changed it is because 1) My mother would be pissed, 2) My name was inspired by one of my favorite uncles and God Father and 3) I come from a large family that will NOT know nor acknowledge me by any other name. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for nicknames...people will either shorten my name or grow close enough to me to give me a nickname that I have earned or display characteristics of .
9. I have a superb defense mechanism in place which starts off with observation, reading people in conjunction with their interactions with me. Yeah. I think it works most times but there may be a rare occasion where someone that is great may slip through the cracks. I don't do confrontation unless I feel it is necessary I just quietly remove myself from the situation. Most times quietly removing myself from a situation is easy because that person wasn't doing much calling/texting/interacting with me in the first place so for me to fall off has not been too noticeable in the past.
10. No matter what I do whether it is right or wrong, I will let a person know before I do it as a heads up. What? I'm not a sneaky person therefore I don't engage in sneaky activity. *shrugs*
11. I will admit when I'm wrong and the other is right but one has to prove it first. :)
12. I'm a multi tasker and I need to have something to do all the time. A good balance of mindless games or watching TV and actual busy work help me keep it all together.
13. I don't like lies, bull shit, tardiness nor do I like excuses. If you're greek then you should know about excuses.
14. I have more patience with children than I have with adults.
15. My favorite colors are pink, purple and teal.
16. I'm not a red Roses type of woman. I LOVE Tulips, especially white and purple Tulips.
17. I am a hopeless romantic. I just try to keep it under wraps.
18. Being alone/by myself is a security blanket for me.
19. Flattery gets you no where with me, I am a modest and very humble person. Straight talk and action upon action upon action to back up the straight talk will get one further then telling me how wonderful and awesome I am. Ok, you figured that much out then treat me as such. *shrugs*
20. To know me is to truly love me and the way to my heart is to spend time with me ie; talking and going out.
Phew! That was hard. So glad that is over.
1. I am a mother of 2 handsome 13 soon to be 14 year old young men and 1 pretty, sassy little 7 year old girl. I'm crazy about them, they know I can be a little crazy in real life and I'm glad they laugh at my moments of craziness.
2. Some times I have to withdraw from everything and everyone. In my personal and professional life I am literally the "go to" person or the one that people come to to "fix" the stuff they have messed up. Considering I have no one for me to "go to" all the time about everything and anything, I get over whelmed with people laying their cares and burdens on me; yet I still have my own to contend with, which leads me to withdraw from everyone so I can decompress, handle my own affairs and renew myself.
3. I'm a very quiet person and people mistake that in a lot of the wrong ways. I am either observing, thinking, plotting, planning, contemplating, reflecting or listening. Sometimes I might be holding my tongue, angry, growing angry or I may just be in a state of not caring at all.
4. Most conversations begin and end with me. I'm carrying so many secrets that if I wanted to I could write best selling novels. However, I don't like betraying the trust of those that confide in me so I shall take it with me to my grave and just spill it to Peter at the entrance of the pearly gates. LOL!
5. I am honest to a fault. Yes, I can't help but tell the truth even if I have to tell it in the most graceful manner. I am very methodical in what I say so if you ask me a "hard" question and find that I am silent then I am most likely searching for the most graceful, most gentle way of telling you the truth.
6. I'm really not as anti-social as I make myself out to be. I just don't particularly fool with too many people. I have become very selective in who I spend my time talking to and/or going out with. If I truly feel as though someone is on some bull shit, trying to play me or if that person is messy as hell then 9 times out of 10 I will not deal with them or deal with them from a respectable distance and yes this does include family as well.
7. I'm stubborn as hell. Most times my positions/stance will not be moved on something especially if it is something I feel very strongly about. It will really take someone to come to be with a few good points for me to ponder on before I will adjust my position/stance a little.
8. I hate my name. Sorry Mom! But I have never liked my name and the only reason why I have not changed it is because 1) My mother would be pissed, 2) My name was inspired by one of my favorite uncles and God Father and 3) I come from a large family that will NOT know nor acknowledge me by any other name. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for nicknames...people will either shorten my name or grow close enough to me to give me a nickname that I have earned or display characteristics of .
9. I have a superb defense mechanism in place which starts off with observation, reading people in conjunction with their interactions with me. Yeah. I think it works most times but there may be a rare occasion where someone that is great may slip through the cracks. I don't do confrontation unless I feel it is necessary I just quietly remove myself from the situation. Most times quietly removing myself from a situation is easy because that person wasn't doing much calling/texting/interacting with me in the first place so for me to fall off has not been too noticeable in the past.
10. No matter what I do whether it is right or wrong, I will let a person know before I do it as a heads up. What? I'm not a sneaky person therefore I don't engage in sneaky activity. *shrugs*
11. I will admit when I'm wrong and the other is right but one has to prove it first. :)
12. I'm a multi tasker and I need to have something to do all the time. A good balance of mindless games or watching TV and actual busy work help me keep it all together.
13. I don't like lies, bull shit, tardiness nor do I like excuses. If you're greek then you should know about excuses.
14. I have more patience with children than I have with adults.
15. My favorite colors are pink, purple and teal.
16. I'm not a red Roses type of woman. I LOVE Tulips, especially white and purple Tulips.
17. I am a hopeless romantic. I just try to keep it under wraps.
18. Being alone/by myself is a security blanket for me.
19. Flattery gets you no where with me, I am a modest and very humble person. Straight talk and action upon action upon action to back up the straight talk will get one further then telling me how wonderful and awesome I am. Ok, you figured that much out then treat me as such. *shrugs*
20. To know me is to truly love me and the way to my heart is to spend time with me ie; talking and going out.
Phew! That was hard. So glad that is over.
30 Day Blog Challenge
I really want to get back to writing on some what a of a consistent basis. Though I have plenty to write about, I honestly don't want to nor do I feel as though I should write about any of it.
Anyway, I will do this 30 day blog challenge and see how I feel afterwards. I know I have captured many experiences and thoughts in this here blog, but I have not given to much insight in to who I really am; so this is an all about me type challenge.
I will write the first entry later on today. Now I must sleep. Night all.
Anyway, I will do this 30 day blog challenge and see how I feel afterwards. I know I have captured many experiences and thoughts in this here blog, but I have not given to much insight in to who I really am; so this is an all about me type challenge.
I will write the first entry later on today. Now I must sleep. Night all.
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