Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ethical Dilemma... What Would You Do?

Ok, If you so happen to have read the entry before this one then you know I am on a weight loss plan that requires shakes. Last week I had place my first order for a few boxes of shakes and requested they send the order to the address in which I currently reside and not the address I have my mail sent to. *sigh* Once again reading is fucking fundamental, despite the fact my shipping address is plastered on everything as clear as day complete with written instruction to send it to the shipping address (place I currently reside) these brainiacs send it to my mailing address.

Since it had been delivered to my mailing address this required for me to wake up at the butt crack of dawn in order to go pick it up as they close early, therefore they are closed by the time I get off of work (the recession is hittin everyone). So I got the stuff and I went and told my co worker that the company she referred me to was bootleg and seemed to employed people who pay no attention to detail.

After I told her the story she suggested that I call the company and tell them that I have a few problems, 1) they delivered the order to the wrong address and 2) by them having delivered it to the wrong address I never received the order. She suggested I tell them they need to send me out a new shipment for free to the right address in order to fix their error. *sigh*

Now if I did that would I be purchasing a one way ticket to hell? I mean really I like the fact that I would be teaching their asses a lesson in reading and paying attention but the whole lying to get free product just makes my conscience hollar, "NO! Do the right thiiiing"...but as much as that shit costs it is rather tempting. What would you do?

Reading Is Fundamental...

Before I begin this entry I would like to thank every one for well wishes and condolences. Though I have gotten to a point where I am emotionally ok, Lil Bit has not quite gotten there. I am literally pulling patience and tolerance from every place I can in helping her work through her little grieving process.

Moving on...

My co worker had hipped me to this semi liquid diet plan. The reason why I say semi liquid is because I actually do eat two 250 cal meals per day in addition to protein shakes. I basically consume a shake every hour and at the times I am supposed to eat, I stop and eat. So far so good considering my last meal is between 5 and 6 PM I am not hungry.

Today I called myself trying to purchase pre made salads in order to take the stress off of me having to measure, weigh etc; and what do you know?? I skimmed over the nutritional value label and ate 2 more servings than what I should have. *sigh* I should have taken a closer look...reading is really fundamental.

Anyway I am not to worried about it as the original plan requires 7, 100 calorie shakes a day in addition to the two meals... a sista can't do 7, I can only drink 5 maybe 6 so I had some extra calories to play around with.

I will be back with updates as I continue with this. In the mean time I will tell you that day one was hard eating every hour on the hour (an hour goes by fast) by the time I made it to my last meal I seriously had the itis and wanted a nice warm bed to fall asleep in. Today (Day 2) was difficult in the sense that I had things to do during the early part of the day, so running around in the snow and having to remember to drink my shakes when I should was a tad bit difficult. I may have to leave some packets and water in the car for when I am out and about.

Anyway...right now I am teetering between going back to the gym or getting a Wii Fit. Decisions, decisions, decision...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Time...

As most of you can tell by reading my blog I am not the most social person around. I speak when I have to, will say hello to my neighbors but avoid all small talk when possible and I keep my circle of close friends rather small. When I lived in the DC area I had a lady who lived upstairs from me that sold candy out of her house. She was known as the candy lady and everyone even her family called her Candy. She was always so nice and I had no problems sitting and talking to her. I even remember she would go out of her way to buy things for the boys for Christmas and their birthday. Though she would eventually move into an apartment around the corner, she always managed to make her way on my block because that is where her aunt and her cousins lived.

I remember after I had lil bit...it was time for me to go back to work and I could not find affordable day care for anything. I was talking to one of Candy's cousins and telling her about my issue. A few hours later I get a knock on my door and Candy was standing there offering her baby sitting services to me. I thank God that she came to my door step to help me because I started my new job that Monday and I had no where to take my then 6 month old baby.

From there she went from sitter to family. She took care of my baby for all of her natural born life. She helped me with her when no one else would and she did this for 4 1/2 years. She was like a mother to both my daughter and I. Lil bit had Christmas here and at her house...the last Christmas gift consisted of a whole bunch of toys, a bike and a beta fish....times when I was sick and could not care for my baby she took her until i was well...she took really good care of me and my baby. I knew if there was no one around me that I could count on I could always count on her.

So, finding out that she had passed away is most heart breaking to me and lil bit right now. To Lil bit she was her "other mommy" and she called her mommy.It was funny how I had spoken to her last week and how we had made arrangements for me to drop Lil bit off for the weekend. I usually take Lil Bit on Friday nights but last Friday night I couldn't. I had not wash her clothes, had not packed her a bag, and I was not feeling good...Friday night...I simply just did not have the time to do everything. So we agreed I would bring her Saturday afternoon...3 AM Saturday morning I get the news that she had passed away...leaving behind an 18 year old daughter, a 4 year old little girl who loved her as a Mom and a 32 year old who desperately needed a mother and accepted her motherly love.

With everything that has gone on with the devastation in Hati, a colleague of mine having passed a few days prior to Candy my spirit is so unsettled. You think that you have time to see people and say the things that you should say but often don't. You think you have time to mend fences, extend olive branches and basically get your shit together but in essence you don't...

Though I have said thank you when dropping my child off and picking her up; I have never truly THANKED her. She was a huge part of our lives and we loved her dearly. I pray that God rests and keeps her soul for she no longer has to fight with her illness any more. She can be free to do all the things her severe asthma would not allow for her to do. I am trying to take solace in her no longer having to suffer and struggle but it is hard none the less.