A Moment....

Once in a while during the hormonal time of the month I'm easily irritated and generally feel as though I was body slammed. I can say I was doing pretty good today considering I was working from home and getting things at home and at work done all the while feeling like Granma after haven gotten run over by a reindeer.

So I took it upon myself to respond to an email that I got from my aunt about Thanksgiving dinner; I let her know I was going to bring the green beans and drinks. I replied to all so folks will know that slot was taken and to pick something else. My other aunt (please remember from here on out that I do love her) responded, "please don't use any meat and season them really well".

I immediately had a flash back to the Sunday before last when said aunt called asking me what did I need for her to bring to my daughter's birthday party and I requested she bring a salad. Easy enough, right? Well I get a call a few hours before the party from said aunt asking me what stores were near me; the intention was to buy the salad up my way and make it at my house. Ok! No problem! So a few hours after the party started my cousin breezes in with a big ass bag of lettuce. I ask her, "what the hell is this?!" and she responds, "your salad". I'm all confused wondering how the hell a bag of lettuce equates to a full fledged salad. When my aunt gets here uber late as always I was like, "you're fired!" after apologies she said she would run to the store to get a tomato for the "salad". After being gone for almost an hour (they warned me about sending her to the store) she comes back with a tomato, cuts it up and dumps a can of waxed beans in it and calls it a salad.

Needless to say when I got her emailed response of "please don't use meat and season them really well" I was irritated and had to stop myself from responding to her like she was someone off the streets and not my aunt. But God is working on me with a lot of things and I know I couldn't tell her that if that is how she wanted it then maybe she should make them herself or being like awwww change of plans I'm not coming I'm going to stay home and eat my meat loaded, under seasoned green beans at home or make them loaded with meat and under seasoned and just let her know I didn't get the message...there are so many places I could have taken it but I decided to politely inform her that I don't use meat for taste. O:-)

Yep that took all my energy and yes I was hella irritated but I suppose that was the "adult" thing to do, opposed to truly having a nigga moment...though the nigga moment can be fun but being an adult is more respectable, so I've heard.

I'm done, tired and maybe I will blog tomorrow....only God knows.

Some Thing Is Better Than Nothing...I Suppose

So yesterday morning I stepped on the scale for my dreaded weekly weigh in and the movement or lack there of made me raise an eyebrow at the blasted thing...yes I even considered throwing the damn thing in the trash.

Yes, the weight reading irritated me but what sent me over the edge is when I entered my new weight into the iphone app and I got this message, "Congratulations! You have lost .4lbs this week! Keep up the good work!"....the hell?! Really? I was salty all day yesterday to the point where I was discussing it with my girl friend and had a melt down, which consisted of my saying, "Fuck Weight Watchers, fuck Jennifer Hudson and her new "urms" (thanks TM).

So yeah I had a melt down and I'm over it...some what. Hopefully this week will be a better week and I won't have to struggle as much. One thing I realized though is that I need to start going on more active dates, where we are out doing some sort of physical actively like dancing so I can stay on track with my eating. I am beginning to realize when you are dating some one who has a much bigger problem with food than you do, that in itself can get you hemmed up (I don't need enablers) and that is alll I'm going to say about that.

Have a blessed weekend folks!

Randoms...

I figured if I come in here and post an entry of random thoughts not only would I amuse myself and possibly others but I might get over this writing block... Ok, wait. Does not wanting to write about certain things opposed to not writing anything at all because there is nothing else to write about count as writer's block?? Just nod you head yes and keep reading....

Ok, anyway... I joined weight watchers again and I have been struggling with my eating the last few weeks. Who ever said it takes 21 days to create a new habit lied ( I always thought it was 90 days). All Lies! It has been 4 weeks and I'm still struggling. I may not be struggling as much as I was on weeks 2-3 but I'm struggling. I really need to join a gym and start going regularly. I was working out at home but after a while Zumba for Wii and belly dancing got old real quick. I suppose that is the Gemini in me, things get old real quick.

One thing I can say is that I feel as though I'm happier than I have ever been. Thankful, peaceful and blessed just does not fully describe how I have been feeling lately. Something just happened after I moved last month...it seems as though everything is right. Like things are how they should be and I'm happy. I think I have settled in the house enough to wear I can go back to focusing on things that I was attempting to focus on before the move.

Let's see the dating life...errrrr....ummmm....it's active. Maybe a prospect or two...yeah that is all I'm going to say.

This is real random but....

If people really knew what impressed me or phased me then they would stop trying so hard to impress me and/or phase me. Granted I'm not easily impressed by the things people do because I think every one has their own path, their own task and hobbies to tend to which create their own definition of what makes them successful. So having money to spend, knowing people in high places doesn't make my eyes get all big and say "oooooooooooooooo!" that's not me. Some times I wonder does my nonchalant disposition and silence of being unmoved by it all just make people feel as though they have to do bigger, better and more exciting things to get a rise out of me?? Then again I ignore those people so I really don't care. *shrug* I honestly really think I have ADD so my short attention span does not allow for me to listen long enough to care.

What I'm really after is the primary thing which is rather important; a person's character. Who are you when no one else is looking? Are you a complete ass hole ? Are you genuine in your actions and your feelings? That is the shit that really matters at the end of the day.

Anyway...

If you want to impress me then make cupcakes with the creme filling or know where to buy them. Yes fat shit I know but I found the best cupcakes hands down and they been on my mind every since...but I'm resisting the urge. *gulps water and sucks on frozen strawberry*

You want to wow...make me laugh. No really let's joke have a little playful banter here and there. Not every aspect of life needs to be discussed analyzed and or changed...not ever political move needs to be discussed. Can we just talk about aintshitness (TM's term) and trivial things like water?

See let me stop because is going to end up some where it need not end up. On that note. Good night folks!

It's A Choice, Not A Movement...

Just a few hours ago an article that was posted in essence.com was splattered on my FB status feed; the poster of said editorial then follows up with a paragraph long post rallying against any one who is trying to stop the "natural hair movement".

Why can't going natural be a choice? Why does it have to be a movement? As you can see from my profile pic I'm natural myself and don't get me wrong I'm grateful for all the blogs and YT videos that pertain to the care and maintenance of natural hair but there are some people that take this to levels that it should not be taken to.

So for this facebook poster to claim that essence was "paid" to post this article in efforts to stop the "natural hair movement" takes it to far and as far as this natural is concerned it is not that serious. To look down on someone because they choose to relax and not "take their hair back" is once again a bit much and a little sad (further separation of our people).

Maybe I'm just simplistic in my thinking but I never thought of relaxing my hair as being a slave to the white man; it just made it easier for me to manage my hair. I never thought going natural would satisfy a prerequisite to really being a black woman; I just wanted to stop relaxing so my hair would stop falling out. See? Simple. Choices. No power to the people, no nappy vs. straight just did what worked for me. Why can't it be that way period?

Anyway,

Somethings people need to know before taking this leap is:

This is not a movement of any kind. It is a personal choice and what is best for YOU and what YOU are able to manage.

Going natural takes research, time and patience. You may possibly have to deal with shrinkage, dry hair during certain seasons and frizz during others. If you can't hang with it then don't bother going there.

Know your hair type (curl pattern) and try different products. Not every one has that wash and go, don't have to throw nothing in out hair except for water type hair. Find what products work for you and use them.

DON'T, lawd sweet baby Jesus 6lbs in the manger, DON'T take going natural as a pass not to do your hair. In some cases being natural does take more work and time. Yes you may want to braid and/or twist your hair in order for it to look like something in the morning. But by all means don't roll into the office looking like Buck Wheat did after he got shot because you feel that you need not run a wide tooth comb through your hair because you are "natural".

Going natural is NOT I repeat NOT cheap in the slightest. For what you save in not going to the salon for those touch ups, you may spend in product (there is some affordable product out there). If you do find a competent natural hair stylist then yes you run the risk of spending the same amount of money for that touch up in one natural hair visit; which is understandable given the time it take to work with natural hair...oh and I need to mention the cost of product.

Being natural does not preclude you from being successful in your career field. I work for Corporate America, with top level executives and VPs, I just got a new position mind you and I rock my curly fro all up and through HQ. BUT, I make sure I look presentable and my hair is done (please see 4th paragraph in this list).

I'm getting off of my soap box now and now that I have said my piece I don't want to hear no more bullshit about this...it's a choice not an obligation to represent natural black folks.

Peace, hair clips and hair grease (when I was in cosmetology school we used to say that all the time). Night folks!

The Sweet Hand of Jesus...

Over the weekend my rental office gave residents notices that August 2-8 they would be closing down a portion of the parking lot requiring for every one that lived in certain buildings to park in the back of the building, across the street from the complex or near the pool. So I posted said notice up on my refrigerator as a reminder to me don't forget to put the car in the back when you get home to avoid problems Tuesday morning.


Lil Bit and I were rushing this morning so one can imagine how I felt when I went to leave my parking lot and they had closed the damn lot down. I look at the date on my phone jussssst to make sure I wasn't crazy, because sometimes my days tend to run together. Nope, nope nope August 1 it is. So I rolled down my window and asked the guy if they could please let me out? The guy looked to one of the maintenance men (real big dude), who was over seeing everything and the dude shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.


I'm sitting in the car like, errr??? Excuse me? While my 5 1/2 year old is in the back laughing hysterically because she thinks that allll this is so funny. So after waiting about 5 mins I finally got tired of being passive about the whole situation and I got out the damn car (yep all 5'3" and *mumbling* pounds of me). Lil Bit in the back screaming, "Mommy no! Mommy nooooooo!" she really thought I was going to clock dude. So, I rolled up to him and politely asked, "Could you please let me out?" he says, "We sent notices out" with hands folded and eyebrow raised I said, "The notices said starting August 2nd and by my calender today is August 1." so he was just like, "they said August 2?"...Yes sir they did.

Once it settled in that the people responsible for notifying residents were dumb asses his tone changed and all of the sudden my name was "Sweety". Anyway, he let me out. I wondered what should I do? Should I call the rental office and complain?? I figured I shouldn't because unless their response was, "i'm so sorry we continue to be dumb asses that don't give a spit about our residents and what can we do to rectify it?" nothing good would come of this. I figured I would leave it...called the doctor's office to speak to the nurse that forgot to call in a much needed prescription on Friday...was sent to her voice mail. I left a really nice message for her...no seriously I was nice, real nice. :-)

Come into work...late and I mean real late and this dude is holding up the elevator talking to some other dude. At this point I burst out into a fit of laughter. They both looked at me like I was crazy but after the weekend and morning I have had all I could do was laugh. I did not have the energy, desire nor anger to cuss any one out whether it was well deserving or not.

Only the sweet hand of Jesus can put me in such a state of peace to where I'm not feeling as though I wanted to choke someone out (like I wanted to do on Friday). Having a feeling a peace and being in a state of peace is priceless. I have a feeling I am about to go into a period where God is going to "force" me to grow even more as a person so the peace is what I need to maintain right now.


I'm going to actually get some work done. You all make is a wonderful day.

Just Some Thoughts...

Yesterday was not the best day for me as you could read from my last entry (I can't remember ever having a day that bad). I went home, got the kid fed and off to bed. Though the work day was done, Lil Bit was sleep and I had my quiet I still felt so unsettled and upset. I wasn't necessarily upset about the events of the past two days but there were just some other things that were bothering me. I ended up doing the best thing I knew to do and that was pray.

I prayed for about an hour and cried for another hour...I was feeling better. I suppose God and I can be on the same time line after all. As I was ending my prayer session my phone rang and it so happened to be one of the gentleman I met on the dating site calling to check on me (how sweet). I thought it was a quite weird being as though he is not a phone person but I figured why not sit and talk for a spell.

It was quite nice talking to him...I love his Jamaican accent. Hopefully our schedules will open up so we can meet soon. He seems to be real anxious to meet me and I'm cool on it...it's not that I'm not anxious to meet him. I think I'm just really trying to take a whole different approach to this dating thing...trying to have fun yet be cautious. After having gone through a whole bunch of mess behind dealing with other people; lies, infidelity, not being ready, bsing me and stringing me along I think I have earned the right to be extra cautious/slow.

Anyway... we will see what transpires within the next few weeks. My daughter's God sister apparently has extra time on her hands and wants to spend it all with Lil Bit, soooooo I won't have an excuse not to go out any where, with anyone who may ask me out. :-)

LOL! Today is a rather good day... it's nice and quiet and my Pandora is on point. :-)

Sorry Cube Today Was Not A Good Day...

About a year or two ago I wrote about this complaint challenge I was doing. I was able to successfully not complain for 30 days and after the challenge was over I managed to continue with the spirit of no complaining. Well...the way I feel I really want to complain...I really want to...I may need to hit that challenge again until then...

I can't STAND and I mean CAN'T STAND when I tell someone what I need and they disregard it and give me everything except for what I asked for. I mean dammit I'm not asking just to waste vital air or to make things hard on you, I'm asking because I need it. Yes! What I need from you is vital to whatever it is I'm doing. Soooooo, why can't you just give me what I asked for?? Why? For the LOVE of Christ can someone one someone where at least give me something I need without prompting and my having to hand hold like they are my 5 year old kid?

Granted there are other work related issues that leave me constantly wondering how people get away with their antiquated and old way of doing things, which have created big issues for me...

Anyway...

I figured if I left my desk, ran some errands, got a salad I would be okie dokie smokie. Ha! That is entirely tooo much like right. As I am eating my salad I start feeling rather funny and realize the lady at Wendy's gave me Alvacado Ranch opposed to giving me the regular Ranch I asked for....errr, yeah I'm allergic to alvacados and I have no benedryl in sight. So, yes I'm literally irritated; my eyes are watering, my throat is itching and my nose is starting to run... how sexy.

So as my allergic reaction persist to irritate me and as my colleagues continue to pursue in their mission to drive me over the edge, pandora cuts a fool and starts playing Ice Cube's It Was A Good Day on my Hil St Soul station. WTF?

Uhhhh Mr. Cube, Mr. O'Shea Jackson, no sir today is not a good day and Pandora get it straight...Thanks! Signed A Woman on the edge. -_-