All That I Can Say...

Is that I really don't feel up to writing separate blogs so this may be one long blog about many different things.

First up...

Last week I was really feeling the effects of Ms. Candy no longer being here with us. I really felt like I had lost a limb and have spent the last few months trying to figure out how to function with out it. I knew I depended on her but I did not realize how much I had depended on her. I have not quite gotten used to the fact that she is gone as I have been anticipating her scheduled Wednesday texts and subsequent phone calls asking when was I going to drop her baby off for the weekend. Last Wednesday I checked my phone for her text and realized that there would be no text because she is gone. Come Thursday her daughter sent me a text asking if she can see her. I figured we would meet and I would let her see Lil Bit for a few hours. No, she wanted to keep her for the whole weekend which lead to the are you sure you are ready for this talk. I took her down to spend the weekend with her God Sister and I was not worried about her at all like I thought I would be. Can't say the weekend was all that great but it was a rather restful and seemingly quiet. The best thing of all was that I actually got to sit through a church service with out having to sneak out to the bathroom in the middle to discipline her. Ahhhh yes I cherished that moment for real.


Moving along...

As I get older and advance more within my career I have grown a little lax with some of the work rules that I have ie; no dating some one that work for the same company, not socializing with co workers outside of work etc. Since becoming relaxed in these here rules I have established some very good friendships with a small few of my coworkers to the point where I felt they were cool enough to friend on Face Book. BUT there is one issue that I am having and that is socializing outside of work as in attending parties and get together at folks houses.

One of my co workers is having a three day birthday party celebration starting today and ending Sunday; tomorrow night she will have a full on party. Now, I have heard that her parties are WILD and I have seen some pictures that made me raise an eye brow (drunk people being put in trunks of limos), so I am a little nervous. This is requiring me to do something that I don't do much of; going out, leaving the house, socializing and meeting new people. Since yesterday I have been agonizing about hair, make up, clothes, which purse I am going to take...then it hit me! The reason why I don't go out any where is because it is entirely to much work. But I am still going to go and make an attempt to relax and have some fun. Gawd, I feel like I need a 12 step program for being anti social.


Next up...

Last year I had met a man that works at my job. We flirted for a while and I knew he liked me but he never really expressed it to me personally. So my coworker took it upon him self to put a bug in Dude's ear that I liked him and he should talk to me. So we started talking and through talking I found out that he has a girlfriend that he lives with and he is only staying for the sake of their 12 year old daughter, which is fine do you but don't pull me into your isht. Our talks fell off mostly due to me being busy along with other stuff (yeah I can't do nothing with him). So we have recently seen each other in the cafe down stairs, talked and caught up with each other. I told him I had been traveling up to Aberdeen twice a week and he asked about the coworker who urged him to talk to me. I told him he was cool. So, I get up to Aberdeen yesterday and the coworker said I have something to show you. He shows me an email Dude sent him basically saying that it was nice for me to drive up there to train and help him out. Then he said, "either your girl is just that busy or she is too nice to tell me that I don't have a chance with her. LOL!"

Can you all imagine my eyes rolling? Just visual the eye roll please? Now when we first started talking he said, "I don't think I can give you everything you need." and I asked him why he would say something like that and that is when he explained the situation about living with ole girl, not being happy in the situation but staying for his daughter. Ok! Wonderful! I responded you are right you can't give me what I need, then our talks fell off. I am wondering if I missed something? Did I need to write I am not going along with this on the wall or something? Seriously, I don't want no ones husband, man, jump off or what ever new terms these young whipper snappers are using today.

I want a husband of my own that is committed to making things work and putting up with me for life. This man would have to be in the Lord; I mean walking, praising and most importantly praying because I know me. I am realistic about who I am as a person and I know there are timessss he is going to have to pray just to deal with me. I don't mean Lord Jesus help me but knee pad type praying. :) LOL! I am not that difficult and anyone who says differently is lying. LOL!


Ok, it is Good Friday and I am at work :( however I am blessed and high thankful that I woke up this morning to have another chance at being a better me than I was yesterday. I ask that you all please pray that I make is through this party, for if I see some tomfoolery, coonery, skankery and hoery I don't know what I am going to do. LOL! You all have a great Easter Weekend!