Now that the Spring quarter of school has finally come to an end I have time to blog. LOL! So much has happened since my last entry that I don't where to begin...
Well, Prodigal and I had a 'tiff' so to speak. As much as I like to think our situation is black and white I know it is not and the fact that I allowed for myself to get caught up was a mistake, because his time frame for executing his "plan" were not realistic what so ever. In haven been grazed by the reality of the situation I decided I needed to take a step back from things and limit our communication and for me to really refocus my energies on me.
For the last month I have been working out and finally joined the YMCA so I could get my work out on and have activity options for the kids as well. Man, I forgot how much I missed working out and being in the gym... I forgot how addictive it is. Years ago before I got pregnant with lil bit I used to spend 2 hours in the gym at least 4-5 days out of the week with out fail and I see myself getting back into the groove again. A lot of people have given me the side eye along with looks of concern at my mentioning that I wanted to lose weight; but it's not about them or them liking me the way I am but it is about the fact that I do not feel comfortable. I want to be able to do simple things with out getting winded from being out of shape and yes I want my body to be tight. No, I won't be strutting in no two piece but I would like to run in the store and snatch something off the rack with out having to try it on and be confident in knowing that it will fit when I put it on.
I am working on being down half of my target weight by the time I leave for ATL in August. As my girlfriend said I am, "ambitious" well yeah dammit and by God I am going to be half way right by the time I have to board that plane. Did I just use dammit and the good Lord's name in the same sentence?? Dang, I'm bad.
Anyway...
I have been registered to take the last class that I must complete before being awarded my degree. In away this is kind of surreal to me because I worked so long and hard on getting to this place and at times it felt like I would never get to this point. Looking back on things God has sure paved many ways for me to get here and I am so very thankful for that. Now, I can think about what is next, law school? MBA program? Or a dual MBA/JD program??
I was not going to participate in commencement and had been on the fence about it for some time until I was in the store shopping with the kids and one of my children said that he was not going to college. Errrrrr?! Oh really now? Well, I informed him that he will indeed be going to college because he has no CHOICE. But as always he feels the need to debate me by telling me that his Dad did not go to college and I came back with the struggles and limitations my ex husband has and in some ways is still experiencing due to the fact that he does not have a degree. Not saying that a degree is the end all be all because it isn't, especially in this economy but, why stunt your growth son?
He was very much surprised to learn that I was in college and had been working on my degree for the last 14 years and I had to often times sacrifice my educational goals to tend to them and at one point a husband or because of a prolonged illness. Needless to say that was the day I decided to suck it up and walk across the stage. God made me a role model when he blessed me with the privilege of being a mother, therefore I have to let my son (all three of my children) see it in action as I walk across the stage to accept my degree in December. Now the only other thing that I have to contend with after I am done are those damn student loans.... awwwww man my head hurts to think about how deep I am...
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