Gotta Get Away...

I expressed to a friend last week that I had a lot going on. When he asked what was going on I gave him a vague answer but when I actually thought about it all I realized though some of what is going on in my life is good and some is not so good it all equals to stress; along with the impact of my Soror's death I feel I am to a point where I need to go away by myself, relax and try to regroup.

Since I did not have a destination already chosen I decided to do a search on weekend get aways and some body please tell me why, oh why do most places only cater to couples?? Why do they place emphasis on the "romantic get away"? Granted I am not involved with any one and I am just dating/getting to know/talking to folks what ever you want to call it therefore no situation exists that would warrant a romantic getaway. Yet, even if I was involved I would still want to take the time for myself to be by myself.

I mean damn is there any where nice yet inexpensive where I can go for some me time, some quiet time?

I also realized that I need an outlet. Some thing that I can do in order to keep the stress down. I may end up going back to crocheting, knitting, or painting. I can't wait until I am completely done with school in September then I will be able to pick up some recreational classes and do something that brings about relaxtion and not stress.

Can't Sleep...

I answered a phone call tonight from one of my favorite Sorors. She sounded slightly funny but I figure she caught the bug every one else had. When she asked if I was sitting down I was wondering what outlandish menagerie of a mess she was going to fill me in on, unfortunately it was not mess it was bad news. Our soror was shot and killed yesterday afternoon by her boyfriend who then killed himself.

It is so surreal right now. How could she be gone? She can't be gone. I just saw her, just spoke to her, just hugged her Sunday night and now she has been taken...

All I can do is just sit in silence as the tears roll down my face, while trying not to allow the sadness from keeping me from praying to God that he holds and keeps her family and that my chapter Sorors and I make it through this sad time. RIP my beautiful Soror.

India.Arie

Some one gave me the CD and I am thankful it was given to me because after listening to the whole CD, I know I would have been pissed if I had dropped even $5 on it (ya know the Hustle Man price). Me personally I did not like the CD overall even though there are all of two songs on the CD that I actually like the CD sugggs.

I remember when she first hit the scene with Video. That was a nice jam to bump in your car and sing along with. Though it has been deemed by some as the "ugly girls anthem" I still like it. Over the years as she released more albums there were songs that I liked but as time has gone on I see a serious change in her music and it no longer grabs me like it used to. Maybe it is my style, I like mellow music that I can still groove to... that smooth stuff; my boys Maxwell and Dwele come to mind and Hil St. Soul are in that same category right along with them.


I don't know this CD just seems to be bohemian, spiritual, socially conscious and really deep. Like makes you sit and ponder on the state of the world and reexamine your life and spirituality deep. I have enough to ponder on in life therefore no thanks India.

Random Mondayz

This is just going to be some random thoughts as what I really want to write about it tooo grown to be writing at work. I will get back to that grown dilemma when I get home tonight.

Anyway...

I went to Subway for lunch today and grabbed me a Minute Maid Lemonade. When I opened it up I noticed it fizzed a little, I did not pay the fizz much mind until I took a sip and realized I was drinking sod like lemonade. As I investigated the bottle further I notice pieces of real lemon floating in the bottle. My being the paranoid person I can be had to set the bottle to the side and I am on the verge of throwing it away completely because people are positioned by things accidentally being put in products every day. Would you drink it? Or, toss it? Just wondering.

Saturday I had to run out and get a birthday present for my dad (birthday was yesterday) and he said he needed something to wear with some brown pants he had bought, so I was on the job. I went to Mens Warehouse and felt like a lost child as soon as I walked in the door. I had no idea what style or color to get him, I realized that I had not made a clothing purchase for a man in nine years. Thank God the sales person came and assisted me with everything. I got him a really nice sweater and a shirt to wear under the sweater. We even compared it to a pair of pants that was comparable to the color of the ones he has. Whew! I was so glad he liked it when he opened. Now I better see him wear that bad boy and soon.

Tangible...

I remember I used to joke around with an old co worker and tell him that I don't deal with possibilities but I deal with tangibles and tangibles (yes I said tangibles) only and I see that is starting to reign true with in my life.



It's not like I actually sat down and thought about this because I have not had time to think about anything outside of the task that I am doing from one moment to another but I noticed I have backed up off of the dating thing, more so I am not so serious or intense about it. My girlfriend and I were talking about my "picks" and how we really have not been communicating and told her that I am cool on it, which is unusual for me. I am also cool on the intimacy part as well. I am feeling that I would rather spend my time getting to know some one than playing between the sheets.



Over all I am just cool on every thing and I am focusing on the things that are tangible to me at this point. I will be done with school in September. I so want school to be over with that I complete all of my assignments at the beginning of the week and sit anticipating the start of the next week so I can roll on. <~~~~~ Tangible



I have been also concentrating on getting some of these bills paid off so I can either purchase or rent a home and be out of here by the summer. <~~~ Tangible



I have spent some time positioning myself to move up in my job since I am finishing this degree. <~~~~~ Tangible



It is not that I am saying I don't want to be in a relationship nor am I saying I am giving up. What I am saying is, it is not tops on my list of priorities like it used to be in the past. I am also saying that it is something that is not real tangible to me right now. I am sure one day it will happen but for right now I am chill. I still feel that I am in a good place and I am still happy.

Head In Hands...

Ok, I just got thumped for not having blogged in a week but I did give fair warning a few blogs ago that I will have a lot of things on my plate this year.

Anyway...

Today was a day from hell, a day in which I could have cloned myself two times over as I was trying to find a balance that was just not there. My daughter and I both fell ill over the weekend, she with a nasty stomach virus and me with a head cold. I took a sick day yesterday and decided that since I felt ok today I would for go a sick day and just work from home and tend to her whle I work from home. Poor choice; my day has been filled with phone calls, excessive work, vomit, poop, laundry upon laundry, a whining child and equally whining co workers adding my own coughing hacking and sounding like a man to the mix. I am just glad the day is over.

I know this blog is short may even suck but I have school work to tend to. I am in the process of completing 2 of my last 5 classes and I want to be done with this isht.