In My Nakedness...

Naw it is not what you think. LOL! My nakedness is the equivalent to baring my soul and all things that I am feeling and thinking that go much, much deeper than the eye can see or the mind can imagine.

Anyway...

I know I have two broken relationships to mend which would be the relationships I have with my mother and my older sister. Mending broken relationships is hard as shit, especially when there never really was much of a relationship in place to begin with. Some times I often wondered do all broken relationships need to be mended?? Considering this is my family I suppose that answer would be a resounding yes.

In the last few therapy session we have discussed my older sister and my relationship with her at length. Releasing my thoughts, hurt, pains and anger about the things that we have said and done to one another over the years was therapeutic but it still leaves me at a cross roads of having to decide to try to make a real effort at mending things between her and I.

I am already working on making things better between my mother and I. I have taken a few baby steps towards that, which is work with in itself but to add just one more onto it that requires just as much work is rather over whelming.

It is not as though I dislike either because I don't, I love them both very much but the difference in personalities is often prevalent.

I came across my older sister on Facebook today and stopped cold of sending her a friend request. At first I felt uncomfortable at the thought of allowing her to come into my world and seeing who I am as a person completely and totally. I suppose the fear of judgement, criticism and reject are all looming in the air. It is funny how for the most part I could give two shits about what any one else thinks and can go on to do me but when it comes to my sister is seems as though I need to seek her approval... I don't understand it but I guess it will become more clear to me as I work through these issues.

Did not intend to start the first post of the new year off with a somber post none the less I am happy, highly blessed and thankful.