Where To Go From Here??

This coming Tuesday is my birthday and I will officially be 32 years of age on that day. No it is not a shameless plug just follow me because I really am going some where with this. Since I turned 30 every year my birthday rolls around I begin to reflect on my life and every year I come to the same conclusion... I never imagined that my life would be like this. Still struggling with finishing up school, single mother of 3 (one of which has behavioral issues), trying to recover financially and living with the parental units, yet struggling to get out and reclaim my independence and a stressful job that is ever so slowly showing signs of going no where. Yeah, never imagined my life to be like this at this point in time and it often seems like I am in the place or some where near it ever time my birthday rolls around and quite frankly I am tired of that shit... just straight tired. Yet, I never have a clue as to where do I go from here, so I keep on pressing forward doing what I can and feeling as if I am not really making any kind of significant moves. It just leaves me irritated.

I guess what it kind of irritating me most is the question, what are you doing for your birthday? Only to get the blank stare when I answer, "nothing". After years of explaining to people that I have never really had a descent birthday and I have grown to look at it as just another day along with no real plans to be made for celebrating I am quite tired of wasting my breath. So, they stand there quiet, a little stunted and perplexed at the thought of a person not wanting to celebrate much less acknowledge their birthday.

Call it a mild depression if you want but I just want to be in bed, under the covers a sleep for the whole day.