I Really Need To...

Stop cussing. Last night I was on the phone having a nice conversation with The Minister and my sister walks into my room, aggravating me. So I slay her with a verbal azz kicking and put her and her foolishness out of my room. After she left I was like, "OH MY GOD! I am soooo sorry! Minister excuse my language". Though the Minister said it was ok I could sense him silently praying for God to deliver me from my cussing. Though we have been friends for a long time (I knew him before he become The Minister) I am still mindful not to cuss around him and I definitely don't drink around him. Needless to say I feel like I seriously violated last night and I need to make more of an effort to stop.

The other thing I need to do and this one is really a biggie (not that cussing is small) but I know I really need to start opening up a little more to my better half. There has been quite a few things going on with me that I know I may eventually have to sit down with him and talk about. Or shall I say a choice that I have to make that I may need to tell him about. There are two issues I am dealing with in regards to this, it is hard for me to open up to people and I have a belief that you cannot and sometimes should not tell your better half every thing, or at least not all at once.

I suppose this is why I am so laxed when it comes to us sharing and opening up. If he opens up to me then he is going to expect the same in return, plus I am not one to pry. I figure if some one wants to talk to me or tell me something then they will come to me and do just that so I don't press it. I am real easy going, I don't bite and I don't get violently upset. I just sit and listen and only speak on it if asked to... not every one is like that. I should say I try not to judge and for the most part I am good at not judging because folks are grown, they do what they do and so do I.

Once again, every one is not like that and in my world it kind of hurts to open up to someone and then you are met with something other than genuine understanding and support. Or, my being accused of being drama filled when in reality it is just life, which sometimes happens all at once. Not to say that is how he is but I have not really put myself out there like that with him to find out... well I kind of take that back there was one incident that happened to where I have been made to feel as though I can't really share certain things with him, so I guess that is issue number three.

I suppose I will do the usual, put it out there and then brace myself for the response.

I also need to stop procrastinating. Sometimes I can be a big procrastinator. I continuously tell myself I am going to get to it, I am going to do it and then I find myself either not doing what needs to be done or I am scrambling at the last minute trying to get thing done. This is like when I was taking English, I would write my papers an hour before class. I got excellent grades no doubt but the pressure was just a tad bit to much for me.

Right now at this moment I need to go do some work because I did not get much of that done yesterday.

I know I have a lot to work on/do but despite all of that I am just glad my life is back to its quiet state.