Tough Love

Yesterday I had a pity moment of sorts and got caught up in my frustration with my life. Through it all I was talking to my girlfriend who from time to time has to show me that tough love and be honest with me about how things really are from the outside looking in (one of the many reasons why I love her, thank you). Granted I reveled in the pity for a minute, pushed through the feeling to just give up and went back to chipping away at the things that I need to focus on and do.

This morning I woke up with a few revelations...

The first I am very much a realist because of the way my life has been I tend to look at the reality of the situation and what the situation is right now opposed to how things can be. I know I do that for the very same reason I don't divulge my future plans or ideas (outside of work) to people; because it just eliminates the feelings of disappointment when things don't turn out the way I planned for them to. What am I going to do about that? I am not sure. I have not had the experiences that come with changing ones out look on that, therefore I can't see things any differently right now.

Second, I really need to take a step back from a lot of things. The service year for both of my sororities are quickly approaching and I know I cannot devote the time to either organization. I need that time to focus on clearing off some of the things I already have piled on my plate. I have been procrastinating on having the "you will see my check but not me this year" conversation with my chapter Basileus... but uhhhh considering she is also my mentor I am going to take a risk on getting cussed out for not having told her all that is going on, again.

Third, I realized that I left my last relationship off on a very bad note and that I need to at least make some sort of amends... try to make things right. I have attempted to extend an olive branch, just to say "yo I am cool, it's all good" but the attempt has gone without response (yeah it was that bad). BUT at least I tried and that is all I can do is, try. Will I try again? Nope, I won't. It is what it is. All I can (and will do) is pray that God keeps him safe and blesses him.