Have you ever had a moment where you had to stop and just ask yourself, why do you do the things that you do?
I had to reevaluate myself today...
My ex called to see how I was doing yesterday and during our conversation he mentioned that he was looking for a nice place for him and his daughters to live. After we got off the phone I realized that I do have access to certain things that he does not have access to and I could very possibly find him exactly the house he wants, where he wants and for the price he wants.
So, this morning when I got into work I called him, offered my assistance, got to looking, found somethings and emailed them off to him. We spoke once again, I explained to him what I found and he said he would take a look at them and he would call me later. <~~ he don't need to call me later just call the realtor.
This whole scenario is entirely to familiar and it got me to thinking about how I am with people...I have no understanding as to why I am always so helpful and compassionate with people, some for the most part don't deserve for me to even think about them much less help them (not him specifically). Yet and still there seems to be something inside of me that is greater than me, that pushes me to lend them a helping hand.
I have been told that I am entirely too nice and often times to giving. Some times I tell myself that I really need to stop because the people you assist don't appreciate it and most time ask like I am supposed to help them. But part of me just can't stand to see a person struggling...
It just all made me sit down and ask myself, why do you continue to do the things that you do?
Re-evaluation is cool but hopefully you won't change that aspect of who you are. That stuff comes back to you! 4real.
ReplyDeleteIf a description of you includes phrases like she is "too nice" and/or "too giving" then I think you're doing just fine. We need more of that in this world.
I've been accused of the same numerous times but I would have to purposely NOT do nice things for people and that just doesn't seem right. Fact of matter is I take great pleasure in being nice. I'm guessing you're the same way.
The TV images of the nice guy finishing last and the selfish bastard getting it all are driving our daily actions. Not good. What the hell is wrong with being nice?
You don't want to be taken advantage of but doing what you did doesn't sound like that at all. You were just helping out.
Thanks Jazzbrew. As much as I have tried to do the opposite I simply cannot help but be nice and help people.
ReplyDeleteEssentially there is nothing wrong with being nice, I think I just have to watch who to be nice to. Not every one means you well.
I have to many when being nice bites you in the butt stories than I care to have.
I feel you there. Once you realize someone is taking advantage of you... cut 'em off. Just don't let the past bad experiences take that giving spirit out of you.
ReplyDeleteI do it too all to often in fact. When my ex was calling me recenlty I fell into the say fix it for him pattern... Not sure why I do that maybe to feel needed?
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail right on the head! I like to feel needed by people. If I don't feel needed then I have a tendency to feel left out and some times unloved.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I derive joy from helping people.
That is funny coming from some one who has so much pride that they could be dying of thirst and not ask for a swig of water.
I need to go and evaluate this.
if you learn nothing else from my blog, learn how to be mean to folks man. i do consultations.
ReplyDeleteRashad, I am still trying to figure out you politely tell some one the "shut the fuck up". Explain that one to me please??
ReplyDelete"i do consultations."
ReplyDeleteHilarious. I may have to sign up for that.