As The Anti- Social Turns

So my day of " anti-social" behavior continued on after I got home. Back in March I moved in with my Dad and his wife. In addition to the two of them my sister is here along with my step brother and his family. Brady Bunch? I think not. Though we live in an excessively large house there is always a chance I am going to run into some one which is why I try to avoid going to the kitchen as much as possible... thank God I have a refrigerator in my room.

As I pulled up to the house this evening I growled in the phone to my girlfriend because company was over. I had the feeling of not wanting to talk to any one, have conversation nor do any Q & A. I asked my girlfriend if she felt that I was anti-social and she answered with a resounding yes. Ok, so I don't like being around a lot of people, I like shit to be as quiet as possible and I only want to deal with and talk to who I want to deal with and talk to. I don't like to be touched by people and I have only conditioned myself to be more than functional in these areas with my children and my better half.

Anyway, every time I walk in the door I realize what I liked about having my own place, I could come home and do what I wanted. Since I lived by myself I did not have to talk to any one until I was ready to, if the phone rang I did not have to answer it. I would just look at the caller ID and often times make a mental note to call who ever back later. I had the ability to strip down to nothingness and throw something comfy on before I cooked dinner, listening to the sound of my children have amusing conversations about their day or just listening to the silence if the kids were gone.

Mhm, maybe that is why I never really had an issue with being alone or not having any one in my life romantically because I cherished the space and freedom that I had. Not to say there is anything wrong with a romantic relationship as I do love being in one (if that is what you want to call it) but I just like to have my personal space from time to time.

Is there any hope for me?