Chapters...

Driving on the back road to home chewing on my lip with a furrowed brow and as always thinking, thinking, thinking. So engulfed in my thoughts I did not realize I was driving off into on coming traffic the sound of blaring horns snapped me out of my thoughts and back in my lane.

What was on my mind? Wondering if I should close a chapter in my life. It is only a brief chapter and quite frankly I don't like the direction the story is going, I don't feel right being placed in a role I just particular don't want to play... a roll I am tired of playing I should say. Since it is real life it is not like I can just erase it and rewrite it to my liking as if I was writing a novel.

Not that trying to make things the way they want them to be is what the other characters have tried to do, but I am not them and when you try to alter situations and relationships you can create feelings and issues that you don't intend to create thus fucking everything up. Been there done that and all altering things does is create a confusing mess for all involved, so I prefer not to go there.

I have closed many chapters in my life, left some off with a "To Be Continued" and some are pending change. I am trying to think about how I want to handle this chapter... do I, should I keep on writing until there are no more words to write? Or, should I just give it a shoddy ending and move on to the new chapter with new characters and try to forget the previous chapter was ever written? If it is even possible to forget...

Life and bull shit, life and bull shit.