Yeah, I do have a lot on my mind today but like I said in the first posting of this blog, "I feel some kind of way about certain things." and people who express concern and who offer a shoulder for one to lean on then turn around and complain about it or the nature of the issue is one of them.
Once again, why ask? If you don't want to be bogged down by the goings on in others lives then don't inquire. When that person refuses to speak of their challenges, why force them to talk to you when you could care less? Just give a general word of encouragement then leave it alone.
I will use myself as an example...
Right now my life is not a mess but things are out of order, I am working through some things, shit keeps on happening, I am stressed and I have some people in my life that despite all those facts they add on to it all.
In the midst of it all I have a friend who always tells me that they are "here for me" or they make it seem as though they can be of some sort of emotional support during this period. Not to say they have not been there, they were doing alright...until we had a conversation and in the midst of the conversation they took the time to tell me that every time they talk to me there is something going on, some thing dramatic. Even in previous conversations they stated that certain aspects of my life were just too much. Ok, so why ask what's going on? Why tell me you are here for me when that is something you particularly are not or maybe just really don't want to do?
Well, every action has a reaction and by displaying that confiding in them was bothersome it has caused me to alienate myself, more so as far as mentioning what is going on in my life. In away it validates the feeling of being alone and not having really any one who understands or cares but I digress...
Granted there are those people who take on the issues of other and all I can say is stop it. LOL! I care about people a lot and some I care for more than I should but I have learned the hard way that my roll in a person's life is to be a support. Anyone can come to me with anything, say anything and I won't say anything I will just listen. Ok, some times I might give words of encouragement but I will forgo giving advice unless asked for. For the most part people just want to air their concerns to someone else, they just want to be heard. They are not asking for me to come and solve their issues, they are not asking for my help but they are asking for my ear, maybe a word, for me just to be silent and be there, or for prayer etc; so when I leave that conversation I leave the issues with the rightful owner.
I think people tend to do things out of courtesy and/ or obligation depending on the relationship or situation. My thing has always been, say what you really feel because it will eventually come out through your actions. Don't bull shit folks especially when you can't recognize a reformed bull shitter.
Let me go before some other things comes to mind that will really make me go off. LOL!
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