Rants, Conspiracy Theories and Pet Peeves

In my place of employment we don't have a cafeteria nor do we have a little shop that sells good quality snacks. The place that is available to us is expensive as hell, closes early, sells stale food and if you get something off the grill you mine as well grab an individual packet of Pepto Bismol tablets that are conveniently located next to the cash register. Outside of driving up the street to the 7-11 up the street there is the office vending machine.

That bootleg ass machine has taken enough of my money and as much as I vow to never go to it again I cannot help it because it is so close to my office. I considered speaking to the vending machine man but when I saw him coming in to refill the machine and collect my hard earned money from his bootleg machines, I thought damn look at this brutha working hard let me give his ass a break. After the last few purchases turned up stale and/or expired I say, fuck that! Today he had the nerve to raise everything in the vending machine by $.10. Now I see why his ass comes into the building looking shifty eyed and shook because I want to kick his ass for that.

LOL! By my calculation he owes me all of $2, now I know you all are saying, Lady $2? You can't even get a pack of gum for $2. Well, happy meals at McDonald is $1 and some change on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Walmart has them for the same price on Mondays and Wednesdays, that could be two weeks worth of Happy Meals for my daughter. I will be waiting on his ass next week.

Moving on...

I hate using public restrooms but sometimes you have to go before you hit the road. It is not good when you get stuck in traffic and have been drinking tea and water all day long and not having gone before one leaves work (trust me I know). Well, to make myself ok with using the public bathroom there is only one stall that I use. How about every body and their Momma decided to leave work at the same time thus hit the bathroom at the same time and the heffa that was in front of me took my stall.

So, I had to use the first available one which someone had just finished using. Those that know me know I do not, do not like to go into a bathroom stall right after anyone else because some ladies are just... simply put, funky and I can't handle that. So I go into the stall and of course it was not pleasant. I vowed to hold it no matter how much my bladder felt like it was going to burst.

Well, today I reneged on that and when I got to my stall some one had left it unclean... I was pissed. Thank God I have a good rapport with the cleaning lady maybe I can get her to leave a cloth and some cleaner in a secret compartment for when I come up on such moments again, because that shit is crazy. What grown ass woman would leave pee on the toilet seat is beyond me.

Now I am watching cartoons with my daughter and I see some things that irritate me. Let's take Max and Ruby. Ruby's little brother Max gets into everything and all I can think about when I watch this cartoon is that lil boy needs an ass whipping. Now, let's look at Dora the Explorer, Swipper the Fox or as my daughter calls him Swipper the Fuk (I am trying to help her with her annunciation).

Ok, so when Swipper comes you are supposed to extend your hand and say "Swipper no swiping" three times to make him stop and go away, if he swipes your stuff then he basically throws it away some where. As I sit here watching this, I am thinking someone just needs to punch the shit out of that fox or break his hands and I bet he won't be doing no swiping again.

Violent, yes I know it is. I am beginning to think that my being raise in a violent home is beginning to manifest itself. None the less I don't express these feelings in front of my daughter, for her nickname to be Tyson at age two I should not add fuel to flames that are some what tamed by expressing my violent ideas on how I feel these cartoon characters should really handle these type of sticky and irritating situations.

On9now Toons-Family Guy: Family Guy: Stewie Beats up Brian!

This is one of my favorite clips. LOL! Gotta love Stewie.