One thing I noticed about myself it that I keep myself super busy. Well, now I am super busy because I am dealing with somethings and trying to get my life back in order. Out side of my current situation I would look for things to keep me super busy, to keep my calender full so I would not have time to sit and think about the things that I want but don't/can't have and are waiting to obtain, or to not have to feel the pain of a love lost (my heart is aching), or to not even focus on issues that need constant attention and have gotten out of control.
I suppose that is why I am in the mess that I am in now... distractions. I suppose that I need to find a better way to deal with my issues and feelings because I can make myself real busy I can fill in every block on my calender and go from one event to the next, one task to the next some times everything all at once.
I just can't do that any more... I am so tired. I am getting to old for this shit for real.
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